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Transcript Below
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it's funny one of the things that really
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helped me with my delivery
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was trying to
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figure out my own rap voice
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yeah because like i've i've
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used a couple of different
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intonations over the years to be able to
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create my own voice so like one of them
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was like you know snoop dogg was like
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yeah my name is snoop and this is how we
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roll right and like just like certain
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words get
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drawn out and create these drawls that
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don't normally exist and then for a
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while when back in like 1999
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2000
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when like 50 cent g unit all that stuff
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was like the biggest stuff and gangster
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rap was pretty much at his major
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like dominance thing it's like all of a
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sudden i'd start talking like this and
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it was like what the [ __ ] that's not me
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either right but like the reason that i
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used that voice is i really liked
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the lower register of my voice
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and so it was like
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it was fine-tuning because i had to find
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to be able to speak with my chest
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because now you notice i have bass in my
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voice right right whereas before
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19 years old 20 years old around there
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i didn't really have much so i spoke
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more like michael jackson
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right and you're like the [ __ ] yeah
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and so yeah you just learn as you try to
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do all those different registers and you
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learn like a proper cadence and a proper
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um
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i guess velocity for your voice yeah how
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fast you want to pump out the airwaves
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um
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all that sort of stuff until you develop
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a voice that you're like all right that
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doesn't suck too bad right and there's
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still parts of my voice that annoy me so
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like
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i can't stand when i laugh on a
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microphone
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it just sounds like the goofiest [ __ ]
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ever to me which now i'm gonna be
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self-conscious this whole [ __ ]
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session um
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but yeah because there's like there's
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this high end because i don't control my
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lap i'm like
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i don't do that right like it's not like
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the gaston sort of laugh
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um it's just a very natural laugh and as
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a result
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it has a lot higher end than i typically
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use in my speaking or singing or
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anything like that voice and it just
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pisses me off annoys me so
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yeah like my voice forever annoyed me i
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was literally
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blush i would start sweating every time
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i would hear my voice even for a split
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second so how i got over that was after
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that the voice training that i did to
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myself for 30 days another 30 day
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challenge
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was i had to publish a youtube video
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every day for 30 days
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and by this point yeah i wasn't a major
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like it's not like dozens and dozens of
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people were watching me but i had an
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audience there were at least 12 people
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that had watched him though at least in
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the game
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so like i would just i would post it to
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the blog hey check this out email my
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people they've watched the video and
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start commenting somehow people actually
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liked it and then like over time like in
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the very beginning for even a
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five minute video like i can crush into
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one take now
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literally would take hours of like
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recording oh no okay let me start over
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how bad do you look back and cringe at
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your first videos i uh so a guy that
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works for me shout out colson uh he
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showed me a video on youtube that i
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forgot even existed i was like turn that
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off turn that off it was so bad it's
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like from 2000
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it was like 13 14 oh my gosh
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i actually cringed and i probably
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blushed
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perfect yeah man like you're even
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blushing now so that tells you but
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here's the thing like when you look back
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years later on your first content you're
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like holy [ __ ] it doesn't matter if it
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was your writing you're like my writing
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is atrocious like even this book that
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everybody loves
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um
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i look at it as a thing i wrote eight
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nine years ago and i was like [ __ ] i was
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a terrible writer compared to how i am
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now
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and that's just like the nature of it
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that's what's cool is like
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for the people that listen to this and
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that are just getting started
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uh you're not going to like your voice
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you're not going to like the way that
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you are on video you're not going to
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like the way that you write that's okay
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you start
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and then you improve every single day
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and you start to find your voice and
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your tonality you know like i talk about
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in the master class
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writing with voice
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right and
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so like
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yeah sounding gangster right or like
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you know it's my name is snoop and i'm
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super laid back right and like
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you start to learn to write with that
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you start to speak with that you start
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to be on video where you're more you're
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moral you're not like [ __ ] stressed
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out like looking yeah like you're about
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to rob a liquor store when you when
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you're filming you're your first video
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right and eventually you're like okay
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need to [ __ ] relax i need to get in
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the zone i need to realize that i can
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just be me
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and a part of that is like we talked
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about in our last podcast is that
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validation thing if you're seeking
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validation and you're so worried about
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what people watching are thinking about
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you
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it's gonna
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kind of wreck your flow and the more
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that you do it right i'm sure you'll
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agree the more that you do content of
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any kind writing or being on video or
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speaking or anything
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the more relaxed and the less you care
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right and as a result what happens you
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get better
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right so that's part of that like give
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and take is like the less you care about
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how people are going to
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think about you or really judge you
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for that content nobody's judging you
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for that content they're looking at the
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content and if the content sucks they're
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out yeah right
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they might be like if you're really bad
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they may like that guy's kind of [ __ ]
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like what a weird posture or like he's
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really talking fast yeah you know
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um
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but for the most part nobody's judging
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you nobody thinks about you as much as
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you think about yourself it's all in
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your head yeah
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something that actually blew my mind was
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back during that 38 day challenge like
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in my mind
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everybody was oh this is trash but just
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a voice in my head and somebody started
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commenting he's like dylan i love that
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video challenge that you did i'm gonna
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start doing it your videos actually
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helped inspire me but so what people
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don't understand is whenever you post
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something online what's happening people
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are watching or listening or just seeing
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what you're putting out and you don't
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understand how many people are inspired
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by
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either one you're just simply standing
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up and doing something or maybe your
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story really connects with them like
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that's why to this day i still share my
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story from way back in the day whenever
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my mom almost died my dad got custody
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back whenever i used to clean bathrooms
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because people can see me now and they
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just assume that's how i've always been
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no even i'm still progressing i still
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have a lot of things i need to improve
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on i still am but 40.
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yeah if you just look behind you're like
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wow dylan used to be broke he used to
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not know how to make money online he
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used to be super unconfident he used to
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stutter because people were like oh
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dylan your voice is so good i wasn't
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born that way
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i literally consciously trained myself
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you have to learn to get comfortable
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with getting better every day and part
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of that is to realize that today you
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might suck at something and that's
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perfectly fine right because tomorrow
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will be a little bit better
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and when you do that consistently half
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an hour every single day
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you look back a year from now and you're
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like holy [ __ ]
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i'm not even the same person right like
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with like learning hip-hop and stuff and
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learning to be an mc
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at first i had white boy rhythm i
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couldn't stay on beat like my friend
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myron who had all this classic musical
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training and stuff who taught me music
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pretty much like he would just [ __ ]
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cringe because he'd have to record me
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like bro you're not even on beat like
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you
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when i'd sing it wasn't it was like
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off-key and [ __ ] it was terrible yeah
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[ __ ] terrible but thankfully i had a
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friend that was cool enough to like
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you know grit through that for me and
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teach me how to actually start doing it
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because then i caught my own and all of
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a sudden i could catch the beat and not
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only that but i could write these lyrics
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that were like you know making people
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like laugh or whatever the goal was
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making them think all that sort of stuff
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and just like starting from that point
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where like i shouldn't even be
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trying to rap because it's so [ __ ]
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bad to a point where now i look at like
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tick-tock contests and i enter tick-tock
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contests and stuff like that and i'll
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outperform everybody yeah
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that's
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that's the progression level right as
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long as you get comfortable with getting
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a little bit better every day and make
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that your consistent goal because every
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day i'm gonna get a little bit better
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because you acknowledge
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that when you're starting anything
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you're not that good you might think
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you're good you might a lot of email
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copywriters and copywriters think this
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they think they're the best copywriter
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ever because they read one copywriting
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book oh i can do this okay prove it
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right like i said on twitter yesterday
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everybody talks about
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well it's really simple to make money
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online you just need to create an
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irresistible offer
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but there's a huge difference between
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saying
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create an irresistible offer and
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actually creating an irresistible offer
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right
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and that's how that's where copywriters
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are at is like they think they're way
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better because they know all the stuff
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but knowing it and applying it into
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action is a difficult transition but you
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have to get started today so that in a
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year from now after all that consistency
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pays off you're actually decent now you
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can create a more irresistible offer
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than most of the market because they
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never put that work in
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yeah i mean that was honestly one of the
286
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biggest things that helped me transition
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from like i quit i quit my job in 2016
288
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started
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that was a whole that's a whole
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different rent i could go in cheers
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cheers
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but it led me to where i am at now and i
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struggled for a long time longer than i
294
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probably needed to until i finally
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realized that you don't need to be
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perfect you don't need to
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have the proper article you don't have
298
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to do all know all the little
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copywriting hacks just progress every
300
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day and we tell people this all the time
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like if you just put 30 minutes a day
302
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just 30 minutes that's a you're going to
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outperform everybody because something
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00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,480
that i used to do is i would go from
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zero to 10 energy just like that for
306
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:00,720
like a week and probably even less than
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that and then i would burn out and what
308
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helped kind of reframe my mind was
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whenever i was around 265 to 85. i can't
310
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:09,600
remember uh what point i started doing
311
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this challenge but anyways i was super
312
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,839
fat like so bad that whenever i left uh
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my bedroom went to the bathroom got out
314
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of the shower and i sold myself and i
315
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:19,040
was like oh don't look at me i went back
316
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to bed but that's what woke me up and
317
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that's what i mean when i say wake up
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now like we all have those moments but i
319
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:28,000
started to stick into the diet i didn't
320
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do anything crazy i starved myself uh
321
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,519
worked out i don't recommend starving
322
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yourself but it works it's effective uh
323
00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:34,560
sort of just consistently working
324
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intermediate fasting yeah much better
325
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:38,480
fasting yeah
326
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uh which we've been doing every day but
327
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,560
so yeah i'll just wake up i'll do 100
328
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push-ups 100 squats uh
329
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,440
sometimes i would run i don't really
330
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like running so most of the time i just
331
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,920
walk a mile a day did that every day
332
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didn't do anything crazy and i dropped
333
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:55,920
from the 285 65 range down to 200 and
334
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how i got 170 was then i became a little
335
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,279
bit more
336
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i guess bigger into the diet bigger into
337
00:10:59,279 --> 00:11:03,680
the workout uh it wasn't as simplified
338
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,279
but from fitness to making money to
339
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,279
everything if you just realize you don't
340
00:11:05,279 --> 00:11:09,279
need to be perfect now yeah nope hardly
341
00:11:07,279 --> 00:11:11,440
anybody's perfect we're not perfect yeah
342
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we just every single day over years and
343
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,040
years and years we just show up every
344
00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:17,279
day yeah it doesn't matter how bad we
345
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,720
feel how motivated we feel we just we
346
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know where we want to go until we just
347
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,640
show up every single day and i think the
348
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:24,560
audience would like to hear like what's
349
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,640
your take on people they think they just
350
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:28,640
need to be super motivated whenever they
351
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,560
wake up like help them understand that
352
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,480
everybody has bad days everybody has a
353
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,839
day where this morning as an example i
354
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,519
was on the toilet like every couple
355
00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:37,279
times like a couple minutes because i've
356
00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:39,839
been eating super healthy yeah i went to
357
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:41,839
a restaurant in town yeah my friends oh
358
00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:43,680
what's going on and in my mind i was
359
00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:45,120
like i wanted uh we just do the podcast
360
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,880
later and then now here we're we're
361
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,320
sitting here i don't feel perfect but
362
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,320
we're sitting here doing an amazing
363
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,519
podcast we've already got a lot of work
364
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,880
done we're going to probably do another
365
00:11:51,519 --> 00:11:54,320
podcast later
366
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,000
and it just takes people getting some
367
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,839
balls and it's not even really balls
368
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,959
just stepping up and be like okay i
369
00:11:57,839 --> 00:12:00,480
don't feel the best right now but i'm
370
00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:02,079
going to show up anyways because i know
371
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,600
tomorrow the next day the next day my
372
00:12:02,079 --> 00:12:05,760
future self is going to be thanking me
373
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:07,600
for just getting through that well you
374
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:09,440
don't need to
375
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:13,200
here's the thing you don't need to
376
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:14,880
hustle to outdo 99 of you
377
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,800
all you have to do is put in that half
378
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,600
an hour a day
379
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,600
consistently
380
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,160
or if you're starting out you're like
381
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:25,279
every day
382
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:27,120
okay if that's hard put in half an hour
383
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:28,480
once a week
384
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,000
start there for a couple weeks when
385
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,240
you're used to and comfortable to that
386
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,680
do it two days a week yeah and stay
387
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,360
consistent and three days a week four
388
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,720
days a week until you're doing half an
389
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,800
hour a day because half an hour a day is
390
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:41,279
really not a lot no but that's still
391
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,519
hard to start for some people
392
00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:46,800
so i would say okay we'll break it down
393
00:12:43,519 --> 00:12:50,000
no jump back start half an hour once per
394
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:52,240
week anybody can pull out a half an hour
395
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,399
of their schedule from seven days
396
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:56,160
usually 24 hours in each one of those
397
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:59,680
days like come on you've got a half an
398
00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:01,600
hour that you can give up something
399
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,040
that you can work on
400
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,160
improving
401
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,000
yourself
402
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,440
to become better at something that's
403
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,360
more valuable
404
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:12,480
to you personally whether that's making
405
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:14,399
more money becoming more fit
406
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,160
learning to talk to girls
407
00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:17,040
any stuff
408
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,839
right
409
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,600
whatever it is that you feel is valuable
410
00:13:19,839 --> 00:13:23,279
start working on that
411
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,040
yeah we kind of talked about this a
412
00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:27,680
little bit we can go and deepen as deep
413
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,200
into it as you want but i think another
414
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:31,440
issue that people are listening to this
415
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,040
have is they see people you're not gonna
416
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,519
just say twitter youtube instagram
417
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,680
everywhere and they they create these
418
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:39,440
frames of reality that aren't even real
419
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:41,440
i mean they're all just essentially uh
420
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,800
like we let's touch on that a little bit
421
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,920
they so people wake up and they're
422
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,120
getting all their information their
423
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,440
knowledge from
424
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:49,120
uh the twitter alphas or whatever the
425
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,760
you the youtube version of that is or
426
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,360
the instagram version of that is yeah
427
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,040
and instead of just finding what works
428
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,160
for them they think that some random
429
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,399
person that's really good at putting
430
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,760
words together oh okay that's the truth
431
00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:01,519
of reality and then they try to do and
432
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,720
they struggle because it's not fit for
433
00:14:01,519 --> 00:14:06,399
them so can we touch on that a little
434
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:08,480
bit well it goes back to like
435
00:14:06,399 --> 00:14:10,560
it's a lot easier to know something that
436
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,880
it is to know and how
437
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:14,720
know how to do it as well
438
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,399
not just to know how to do it but to be
439
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,680
able to do it
440
00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:18,800
441
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,040
442
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:24,880
youtube social media
443
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:27,360
it's all highly scripted
444
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:29,839
everybody knows what to do knows how to
445
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:32,320
do it knows what peak optimalism would
446
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:34,240
possibly be in a theoretical yeah
447
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,880
hypothetical world
448
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:38,320
and so you get bombarded with that [ __ ]
449
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,920
and the more that you get into like
450
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,600
seeking your own success the more you
451
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,040
think following all of these accounts is
452
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,880
a good idea
453
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,560
right and so you go and follow all these
454
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,000
accounts that are saying all the perfect
455
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,680
advice you're like [ __ ] that sounds
456
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,240
really good i need to do that
457
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,760
then you start being hard on yourself
458
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,480
because you're falling so short of that
459
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,560
[ __ ] thinking that all of these accounts
460
00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,880
and the person that you picture in your
461
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:02,320
head the avatar that becomes money
462
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,160
463
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,240
right like money twitter you could
464
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,480
describe him as a guy
465
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:11,040
couldn't you oh yeah
466
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:12,880
that becomes a residual image in our
467
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:15,760
head that we feel that we need to live
468
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:18,560
up to and because that's
469
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:20,639
pieces of a bunch of people who have all
470
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,880
figured a piece out
471
00:15:20,639 --> 00:15:25,040
we see that image we're like [ __ ]
472
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:27,040
i feel so short i can never be that you
473
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:29,040
get hard on yourself then you feel
474
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,279
unmotivated you don't try to do things
475
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,399
and it just collapses and you go through
476
00:15:31,279 --> 00:15:34,720
these
477
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,920
roller coasters yeah right where like
478
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,560
you'll go through the spurt i'm gonna
479
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:41,440
work [ __ ] six eight hours a day on my
480
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:42,639
dream and becoming what i want to be
481
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,399
and then you're like oh but it's not
482
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:46,560
working and i'm still not as cool as you
483
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:48,959
know shout out our buddy ed lattimore
484
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:51,519
guy's a [ __ ] genius guy's a stud yeah
485
00:15:48,959 --> 00:15:53,680
ripped can fight all sorts of [ __ ]
486
00:15:51,519 --> 00:15:55,120
well i'm not at lattimore so i give up
487
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,600
and then they go down in the slump and
488
00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:00,720
like ed lex jokes about like some people
489
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:02,800
are addicts so they hop into crack
490
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:05,120
right yeah a little extreme but [ __ ] it
491
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:06,240
does happen it does you know alcohol
492
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,720
porn
493
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:11,360
whatever the vice is they fall into that
494
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:14,320
trap right and then that self-loathing
495
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:15,759
hits until they hit rock bottom
496
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,079
and they say
497
00:16:15,759 --> 00:16:20,639
i need to make a change
498
00:16:18,079 --> 00:16:21,920
but instead of being consistent
499
00:16:20,639 --> 00:16:23,839
and stepping out with half an hour to
500
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,519
get back to the six to eight hours a day
501
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:27,360
maybe more this time maybe i'll do 10 to
502
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:28,800
12 hours or a quarter or less yeah and
503
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:32,240
they'll burn themselves out trying to
504
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:34,160
compete with what they think is
505
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,839
what they need to be but they don't need
506
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,160
to be anything other than better than
507
00:16:35,839 --> 00:16:40,079
what they were yesterday right
508
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,600
and the faster you figure that [ __ ] out
509
00:16:40,079 --> 00:16:43,519
the faster you become guys like ed
510
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,680
lattimore that genuinely are like holy
511
00:16:43,519 --> 00:16:47,440
[ __ ] this guy's got it together yeah but
512
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,360
you can get to that level
513
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,959
no matter where you're at you'll never
514
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,880
be ed lattimore but you'll be the best
515
00:16:50,959 --> 00:16:54,079
dylan madden right be the best shane
516
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,399
hunter
517
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:58,079
right just like ed wouldn't be the best
518
00:16:56,399 --> 00:17:00,000
me he wouldn't be the best you it's a
519
00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:02,880
different configuration and that's what
520
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:05,360
makes everybody beautiful and great yeah
521
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:07,360
use those guys as inspiration but not as
522
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:09,199
a goal post right
523
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:11,439
right because it's not fair either guys
524
00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:13,280
like you started years ago guys like ed
525
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:15,120
started years ago guys like me started
526
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,600
decades ago
527
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:19,520
with what we do so of course
528
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,439
you know you're better with freelancing
529
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,799
i'm better with like writing copying
530
00:17:21,439 --> 00:17:24,240
creating ads and things like this
531
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:25,600
because i've been doing it longer than
532
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:29,120
most of the people on money twitter have
533
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:30,640
been alive yeah right that's not a fair
534
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,840
start if you're just getting started in
535
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,520
this [ __ ] you're like i need to be like
536
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,720
shane i need to be fully abrasive when
537
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,080
most people don't even understand what
538
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,360
abrasive means
539
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,400
which segues into something i want to
540
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,160
talk about i want to talk about
541
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,440
abrasivism what it is and isn't a little
542
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,720
bit later
543
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,080
but like
544
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,520
they see these traits and they want to
545
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,880
emulate those traits and they see these
546
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:49,120
people and they want to emulate those
547
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:51,360
people and they fall short and then
548
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:53,200
that whole [ __ ] process happens over
549
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,720
and over and over again so instead of
550
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,000
like going for these peaks and then
551
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,840
these valleys and then these peaks and
552
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,679
then these valleys where it just ends in
553
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,480
a burnout anyway
554
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:04,480
if from day one you say wow that's
555
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,240
really inspirational i'm going to work
556
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,880
on making myself better until i feel
557
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:10,320
that i'm that inspirational or more yeah
558
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,440
or whatever level you feel that you want
559
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,280
to get to maybe you don't want to get
560
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,160
that level of inspirational
561
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,440
maybe you don't even want to be
562
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,919
inspirational to other people you just
563
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:20,799
want to do it for yourself cool
564
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:22,880
say today i start getting better than i
565
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:24,160
was yesterday the fact that you're now
566
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,200
thinking that makes you better than you
567
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:28,640
were yesterday because now you're
568
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:30,880
thinking on that right level so then you
569
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,080
find something that you need to do right
570
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,840
say you're trying to learn email
571
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:36,240
marketing well [ __ ] what is that oh it's
572
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:37,600
copywriting okay but it's via email okay
573
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,640
maybe i should go
574
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:43,200
rock a couple books on or youtube videos
575
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:45,360
or whatever sort of content you can find
576
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:47,120
on how do i write an email that's good
577
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,960
that people are going to open right what
578
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:50,720
is email copywriting what is copywriting
579
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,400
teach me this stuff what's a good
580
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,240
subject line so that i get people to
581
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,600
open my email right what's a good first
582
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,400
line so that they read the rest of the
583
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,679
584
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,360
right what's the format that i should
585
00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:00,960
write the whole email in you start
586
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:02,880
asking questions like that and slowly
587
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,960
but surely you piece together holy [ __ ]
588
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:07,039
this is how you do it but then remember
589
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,080
don't fall into that trap i know how to
590
00:19:07,039 --> 00:19:10,880
do it
591
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:13,200
not until you actually do it so part of
592
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,799
that consistency is doing it every day
593
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,320
not just studying it because this is
594
00:19:14,799 --> 00:19:18,640
where so many people that's where like
595
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,720
90 of people that get into inter net
596
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:23,039
marketing get stuck
597
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:25,440
is they get so focused on learning it
598
00:19:23,039 --> 00:19:28,240
and not focused on doing it
599
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,919
yeah i've spoken to dozens of people
600
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,520
that do that it's like no bro like
601
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:33,360
you're good in theory you've watched all
602
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,280
the videos read all the books
603
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,480
read all the tweets the blog like what
604
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,400
have you actually done well i haven't
605
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,840
really done anything well so you're not
606
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,600
actually a copywriter until you've
607
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:44,240
actually done it like you're good in
608
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:46,799
theory copywriter writes copy what you
609
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:49,600
are is a copywriter critique yeah
610
00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:51,600
or critic exactly right like
611
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,880
you can judge copywriting
612
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,799
because you have an academic
613
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,360
understanding of it i've read two books
614
00:19:54,799 --> 00:20:00,160
on copywriting but the same academic
615
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:02,559
economic geniuses that run this country
616
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:04,320
that think that they know how the world
617
00:20:02,559 --> 00:20:05,760
works and how economics works are the
618
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,080
ones driving
619
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,840
food shortages yeah
620
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,000
and stuff like that right now whereas
621
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:14,240
the real people who went out there and
622
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,559
did like elon musk like jeff bezos
623
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,400
they're richer than men have ever been
624
00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:21,120
you know
625
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,640
splicing because it's not just in their
626
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:24,720
head they went out and did it and they
627
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,880
were they failed hard both of those guys
628
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,039
have failed [ __ ] hard
629
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:31,760
multiple times more than most people
630
00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:34,080
will ever dare to fail
631
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:37,440
but they stayed consistent consistent
632
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:40,720
consistent consistent consistent
633
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:42,240
and they ended up killing it yeah
634
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,720
so that
635
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,919
kind of a segway something to build upon
636
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,280
what you said and you've talked about
637
00:20:45,919 --> 00:20:49,520
this final fight
638
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,760
is because i fell into this years ago i
639
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:53,280
would try to be example victor pride i
640
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,799
would try to be like them or cernovich
641
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,000
or ed lattimore or even at latterboard i
642
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:57,039
tried to be these different types of
643
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,440
people
644
00:20:57,039 --> 00:21:01,120
because at that time they were my model
645
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,120
of success and something that helped me
646
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:05,039
a lot and then i read final fight back
647
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,799
whenever i was in bogota oh my god i
648
00:21:05,039 --> 00:21:09,200
literally this is what changed my life
649
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:10,320
like years ago so reading that now the
650
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,000
audience to hear that whenever they go
651
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,240
through final fight is designing your
652
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,919
future self like i created money bag
653
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,799
madden money bag madden was like my
654
00:21:15,919 --> 00:21:21,360
alter ego of my future self the self
655
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,960
that wakes up every day doesn't care how
656
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,360
he feels he just gets to work does what
657
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,400
he has to do and so he's a responsible
658
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:28,240
adult
659
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,679
he wakes up does what he has to do
660
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,840
regardless of how he feels he's got
661
00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:33,840
certain a certain fitness
662
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,120
level he travels he lives a certain type
663
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,320
of way he's got all this and i started
664
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,919
becoming that
665
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,080
mentally and then i started doing that
666
00:21:37,919 --> 00:21:41,840
physically so i became that and then i
667
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,440
became money back madden and so then i
668
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,799
had to upgrade him again which is what
669
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,559
i'm currently doing
670
00:21:44,799 --> 00:21:48,320
so something i think is really powerful
671
00:21:46,559 --> 00:21:50,000
if you could touch on designing their
672
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,440
future you because that gives them i
673
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,679
don't want to say an idol but it gives
674
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,600
them a model of success so instead of
675
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:57,200
trying to be atlatimo or trying to be
676
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,960
shane hunter or dylan madden or any of
677
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,799
these other people instead of trying to
678
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,240
be that they can become their future
679
00:22:00,799 --> 00:22:04,240
self can you touch on that a little bit
680
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,240
well think then do just like with
681
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,559
becoming good at something becoming good
682
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:10,080
at being someone awesome is also a task
683
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:11,760
in the same way you can think what a
684
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,039
good person is
685
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,240
and think that you're that thing but
686
00:22:13,039 --> 00:22:16,320
unless you're doing that thing you're
687
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,159
not really not right right which is why
688
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:20,320
another thing i talk touch on in there
689
00:22:18,159 --> 00:22:22,159
is controlling your thoughts your words
690
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,080
and your actions because control your
691
00:22:22,159 --> 00:22:26,799
think what do you want to be what is
692
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,679
future you what does that look like
693
00:22:26,799 --> 00:22:28,880
right
694
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,400
you start to piece that together well
695
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,080
you know i want to make i want to make
696
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:34,000
money i want to be rich that doesn't
697
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:35,600
mean anything yeah how much do you want
698
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,440
to make
699
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,039
have you even looked at your finances to
700
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,720
know what you need to cover your base
701
00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:42,799
expenses most people haven't because
702
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,320
that's scary and nobody taught them how
703
00:22:42,799 --> 00:22:46,400
in school you know that's a pretty
704
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,600
[ __ ] important thing to figure out
705
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,559
right
706
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,240
um
707
00:22:48,559 --> 00:22:51,440
so figure out what your costs are now
708
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,360
figure out how much you need to meet
709
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,840
that now figure out
710
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:57,840
well what would my ideal life look like
711
00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:00,240
right right if i could start taking my
712
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:02,400
girl to restaurants
713
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:05,039
right and we could go on
714
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,640
trips and we could go have fun you know
715
00:23:05,039 --> 00:23:09,039
go to dave and busters or we could go
716
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,080
bowling or we can go to a movie or
717
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:12,000
whatever
718
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,480
adding that sort of expenses that
719
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:17,120
designs your ideal life and sounds like
720
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:19,440
[ __ ] awesome and that will fuel you
721
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:20,559
emotionally
722
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,320
figure out how much that stuff's going
723
00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:24,720
to cost what kind of car do you want to
724
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,840
drive how much is that going to cost you
725
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,880
what kind of house do you want to live
726
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,480
in do you want to live in a house an
727
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:32,559
apartment a condo what
728
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,640
and you figure all that stuff out on top
729
00:23:32,559 --> 00:23:36,640
of what you need to survive
730
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,799
right now and put a little money in the
731
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,760
bank too in case emergencies happen as
732
00:23:38,799 --> 00:23:42,240
they do
733
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:44,960
figure out what all that stuff is
734
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:47,120
how much does that cost now add that in
735
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,200
now how do you get to that level this is
736
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:51,039
a part of future you so now you're like
737
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,520
okay now i know the exact income that it
738
00:23:51,039 --> 00:23:55,760
would take to live my ideal life
739
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:58,640
now i have a goal
740
00:23:55,760 --> 00:24:01,200
now every dollar you get gets you closer
741
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:03,200
to that goal and you can measure
742
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,720
right and this is killer when you start
743
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,080
measuring your life tracking your life
744
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,159
like we've talked about you watch your
745
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:10,240
blood work and stuff like that and then
746
00:24:08,159 --> 00:24:12,080
you can accurately find the right
747
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,840
supplements and foods and everything but
748
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:16,000
you start measuring
749
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,279
and now you can walk your way up to say
750
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,120
it's ten thousand dollars a month to
751
00:24:17,279 --> 00:24:21,039
live your ideal life
752
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:23,520
okay i'm a dollar today cool let's get a
753
00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:25,919
dollar tomorrow yeah and a dollar and a
754
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,520
dollar and a dollar ten thousand steps
755
00:24:25,919 --> 00:24:29,279
later you're at ten thousand dollars a
756
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,799
month
757
00:24:29,279 --> 00:24:34,240
right and it's not gonna even take ten
758
00:24:30,799 --> 00:24:36,320
thousand steps as it goes it's just
759
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:39,039
if you're consistent you can usually at
760
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,799
least replicate what you did yesterday
761
00:24:39,039 --> 00:24:42,799
right while setting up to do better
762
00:24:40,799 --> 00:24:44,559
tomorrow
763
00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:46,720
that's what you should aim for and you
764
00:24:44,559 --> 00:24:48,640
do this and that that future you gets
765
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,559
designed that way you don't look at it
766
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:53,360
as some sort of like esoteric i want to
767
00:24:50,559 --> 00:24:56,000
be rich with a giant [ __ ] and shredded
768
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:57,120
and be surrounded by women right like
769
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:00,480
okay
770
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:03,039
sure what does that look like yeah first
771
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,480
get your money right so you get out of
772
00:25:03,039 --> 00:25:06,159
survival mode so you get out of
773
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,240
fight-or-flight mode
774
00:25:06,159 --> 00:25:10,240
so that you're doing basic bit [ __ ]
775
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:12,240
because you're too afraid to live how
776
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,640
you want to and you too afraid to live
777
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,320
life by design right right
778
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,679
um
779
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,600
once you're out of that
780
00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:21,360
survival mode now you can really start
781
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,039
designing and really start refining and
782
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:24,799
be like yo i got this life but this
783
00:25:23,039 --> 00:25:26,159
isn't i didn't know that this would come
784
00:25:24,799 --> 00:25:28,080
with this much
785
00:25:26,159 --> 00:25:29,440
extra time invested in something so now
786
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:30,400
you start looking at things like how do
787
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,640
i
788
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:35,120
reorganize my time and this is how you
789
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,880
create future you not only
790
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:38,559
is it a thinking process but it's also
791
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,080
an incremental process because as you
792
00:25:38,559 --> 00:25:41,760
grow you're going to keep rethinking
793
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,919
future you because that's going to keep
794
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,240
altering the more you know
795
00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:48,559
the more accurate
796
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,159
vision you get of who future you is and
797
00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:52,799
whether you actually want it or whether
798
00:25:50,159 --> 00:25:55,440
you thought you wanted it right right
799
00:25:52,799 --> 00:25:57,760
and so getting to future you is taking a
800
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,640
critical look at your life
801
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,559
um
802
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,600
after you have said okay that's what i
803
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:03,440
want to be
804
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,840
now you break it to specifics so now
805
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,880
that you've thought you start to do
806
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,760
right right
807
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,000
so
808
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:12,240
now you to do you need to actually look
809
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,799
at where you're at so not only are you
810
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,880
looking where you're going
811
00:26:14,799 --> 00:26:17,760
you're looking where you are at right
812
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,240
now
813
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:23,360
objectively truthfully honestly
814
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:25,120
sincerely intentionally
815
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:26,640
so that you know exactly where you are
816
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:28,960
because now you know what your baseline
817
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,039
is and you know what your goal is
818
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:33,039
right now you've only got a spectrum to
819
00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:36,320
walk across and you're there
820
00:26:33,039 --> 00:26:38,400
it goes from esoteric
821
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:39,919
oh man it would be nice to
822
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,159
you know live a better life and be
823
00:26:39,919 --> 00:26:43,679
healthy and have money and be loved and
824
00:26:42,159 --> 00:26:45,120
all of these sorts of things that people
825
00:26:43,679 --> 00:26:47,679
want
826
00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:49,919
but it becomes real
827
00:26:47,679 --> 00:26:52,240
you know when you when you create that
828
00:26:49,919 --> 00:26:54,640
spectrum of this is my baseline this is
829
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:57,120
my goal now what are the steps to get
830
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:59,120
from this baseline where i am
831
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,880
to where i want to go right there's
832
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:03,120
always an answer there you might not
833
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,760
have it right away cool well i need to
834
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:07,279
make more money cool how can you do that
835
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,279
if you're flipping burgers at mcdonald's
836
00:27:07,279 --> 00:27:11,039
guess what you might get a raise in six
837
00:27:09,279 --> 00:27:12,880
months for 50 cents but is that gonna
838
00:27:11,039 --> 00:27:14,960
get you there probably not
839
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,559
right so flip those burgers keep doing
840
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,880
that job
841
00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:20,960
go home study a book for a half an hour
842
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:23,039
a night right
843
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:25,360
right study youtube videos on something
844
00:27:23,039 --> 00:27:26,960
that you know will increase your value
845
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:29,440
to the world that you can offer to a
846
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:31,679
system that isn't mcdonald's that that
847
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,760
system will reward you with more money
848
00:27:31,679 --> 00:27:35,600
for that task right
849
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:37,120
that's step one now you replace your
850
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,799
income from mcdonald's you can move full
851
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:40,480
time into that thing
852
00:27:38,799 --> 00:27:41,760
right because you're making more money
853
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,120
so you might as well invest that time
854
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,880
that you'd be investing at mcdonald's
855
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:47,039
making more money that's your first step
856
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,039
up
857
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,640
now from that point you look for
858
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:53,279
somewhere else
859
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:56,080
of how can i provide more value what can
860
00:27:53,279 --> 00:27:57,760
i learn that's a more valuable skill in
861
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,919
this world that i can trade for more
862
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:02,399
money than i'm making now in less time
863
00:27:59,919 --> 00:28:04,159
preferably right
864
00:28:02,399 --> 00:28:06,880
boom now you're there and you just keep
865
00:28:04,159 --> 00:28:10,320
on leapfrogging until your
866
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:12,480
value is maxed out in an area that you
867
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,080
want to be in that you enjoy doing that
868
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,559
isn't stressing you out and isn't
869
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:18,799
burning you out right
870
00:28:16,559 --> 00:28:20,960
that's the ideal life
871
00:28:18,799 --> 00:28:22,240
some people are like all money but they
872
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,600
burn out
873
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:27,039
right because they didn't balance it
874
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:29,840
with any of their own personal interest
875
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:32,320
they didn't balance it with who they are
876
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:34,640
as a human being psychologically
877
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:37,360
biologically anything
878
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:39,919
and so that lack of equilibrium shatters
879
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:41,840
the whole system
880
00:28:39,919 --> 00:28:44,000
right but if you're going for
881
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:46,640
here's who i am and you have to stretch
882
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:48,080
yourself too you're not trying to find
883
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,679
the limit of who you are today you're
884
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,760
trying to find the limit of who you can
885
00:28:49,679 --> 00:28:54,320
be
886
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:57,279
and money and finding that
887
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,799
equilibrium yeah
888
00:28:57,279 --> 00:29:00,240
then you're going to be happy you're
889
00:28:58,799 --> 00:29:02,159
going to have a balanced life that work
890
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,840
life balance that everybody's looking at
891
00:29:02,159 --> 00:29:05,360
it's possible
892
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,200
and it's possible to make a [ __ ] ton of
893
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,039
money while you have obtained that but
894
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,240
that's how you do it right
895
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:12,960
um and it's just a matter of
896
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:15,279
systematically looking at costs and and
897
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,200
then also how you increase your value
898
00:29:15,279 --> 00:29:18,640
because if you're gonna wait at fifteen
899
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,840
dollars an hour
900
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,360
for the rest of your life it's gonna be
901
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,720
hard to get to that
902
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,640
ten thousand and you're not gonna get
903
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:27,760
the ten thousand a month making fifteen
904
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:30,240
dollars per hour
905
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:32,960
so you can be mad about that you can
906
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:34,399
wait 30 40 years like was our parents
907
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,000
model
908
00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:38,000
uh to hopefully you'll get to a point
909
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,039
where maybe one day you'll make 10.
910
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,960
a month
911
00:29:39,039 --> 00:29:43,120
right the one day that never comes
912
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,559
because by the time you're almost there
913
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,559
they go and hire someone younger than
914
00:29:44,559 --> 00:29:48,080
you now cheaper than you happened to my
915
00:29:46,559 --> 00:29:50,799
dad
916
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:54,159
weird yeah right so
917
00:29:50,799 --> 00:29:57,039
that method it's kind of broken right
918
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:59,120
but you can find your own value by
919
00:29:57,039 --> 00:30:00,799
finding value holes that are in the
920
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,120
world
921
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:06,000
and learning how to do that thing
922
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:08,480
so that you can fill that hole and as a
923
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:11,200
reward for filling that hole you get
924
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:14,159
paid what that task is according
925
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:16,399
uh or is valued at accordingly in the
926
00:30:14,159 --> 00:30:17,840
world right
927
00:30:16,399 --> 00:30:19,440
that's the formula
928
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,200
right you want to make more money you
929
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,960
can't expect it from your business you
930
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,480
have to go out and create that value or
931
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,720
find a place where you can get that you
932
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:28,000
can change jobs you can go to school and
933
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,000
become a doctor
934
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,799
now 10 000 a month isn't bad but you've
935
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,520
got 350 000 in student loans but you
936
00:30:32,799 --> 00:30:35,360
know
937
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,360
so now you actually need like 40 grand a
938
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,880
month but you also run your practice and
939
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,559
other [ __ ] so now you're realizing oh my
940
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,480
god i need to make like 100 a month to
941
00:30:40,559 --> 00:30:43,840
break even this sucks yeah
942
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,159
so make sure you're not putting yourself
943
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,200
into a trap like that either
944
00:30:46,159 --> 00:30:49,840
and it just takes a little bit of
945
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:51,600
foresight this is why future use so pal
946
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,600
powerful instead of just being like i
947
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,039
want to become a doctor
948
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,399
and working hard to become a doctor and
949
00:30:55,039 --> 00:30:58,159
then getting to the point where you're a
950
00:30:56,399 --> 00:31:00,799
doctor and you're like i am financially
951
00:30:58,159 --> 00:31:02,880
trapped right
952
00:31:00,799 --> 00:31:04,480
right i don't have a life i can't see my
953
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,000
kids i can't see my wife
954
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,399
you know
955
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:10,159
all i do is work and i still barely
956
00:31:08,399 --> 00:31:11,840
break even
957
00:31:10,159 --> 00:31:12,960
that's not a life anyone wants to end up
958
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,000
in
959
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,440
but if you were to look at that i want
960
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,039
to be a doctor okay
961
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,880
what kind of doctor
962
00:31:17,039 --> 00:31:20,399
and people do that eventually too as
963
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,080
they're progressing through their degree
964
00:31:20,399 --> 00:31:23,600
but if you looked at it from day one and
965
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,360
said what kind of doctor do i want to
966
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:27,120
become
967
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,000
what does that look like in a way that i
968
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,240
can
969
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,000
make it there without racking up you
970
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,519
know half a million dollars in student
971
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:35,440
loans or even a quarter of a million
972
00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:36,559
dollars in student loans
973
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,799
um
974
00:31:36,559 --> 00:31:40,640
how can i maximize what i make as that
975
00:31:38,799 --> 00:31:42,559
doctor you know what do i want my
976
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:45,279
practice to look like exactly how is it
977
00:31:42,559 --> 00:31:46,960
structured um what do i look at my
978
00:31:45,279 --> 00:31:48,320
family life like like do i want to be
979
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,840
able to make it to junior's little
980
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,200
league games and [ __ ] like that because
981
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,960
if you do he's going to have to look
982
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,399
differently than you know if you just
983
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,399
want to be that dedicated doctor that's
984
00:31:54,399 --> 00:31:58,480
working 100 hours a week and like no
985
00:31:56,399 --> 00:32:00,240
family but tunnel vision on
986
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,720
you know curing some disease or
987
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:04,159
something right
988
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,720
so you have to look
989
00:32:04,159 --> 00:32:09,360
in depth into future you not just like
990
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,960
is this big esoteric generic target
991
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,559
right it's kind of like with marketing
992
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,559
targeting the better you know the person
993
00:32:12,559 --> 00:32:16,240
that you're targeting
994
00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:17,360
the better chance you have of selling to
995
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,240
them
996
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:21,919
well the better you know your future you
997
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,120
the better chance you have of becoming
998
00:32:21,919 --> 00:32:24,960
them
999
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,039
right
1000
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:29,039
a huge part of that i at least for me
1001
00:32:27,039 --> 00:32:31,120
personally was conditioning or
1002
00:32:29,039 --> 00:32:33,200
reconditioning myself to stop being so
1003
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,480
reactive so can you touch on we kind of
1004
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,320
talked about this in the last podcast
1005
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,320
but can we go a little bit more in depth
1006
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,840
designed around the future you
1007
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,919
uh as there's like in their
1008
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,360
circumstances maybe they are working a
1009
00:32:41,919 --> 00:32:44,720
job they hate maybe they're in debt
1010
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,880
maybe you already have a couple clients
1011
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:48,720
your life's okay if you want more
1012
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,799
but how can you to step into that future
1013
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:53,120
you what are some tips that people could
1014
00:32:50,799 --> 00:32:54,960
take to kind of tune out
1015
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,880
that react reactivity and realize that
1016
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,320
they have the power to choose
1017
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:01,360
so you remove
1018
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,240
all reactivity via conditioning right
1019
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,760
right
1020
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,279
um
1021
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:08,080
you've seen as you've been here this
1022
00:33:05,279 --> 00:33:09,519
week at the ranch we have horses and we
1023
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,559
have horses that have been trained for
1024
00:33:09,519 --> 00:33:12,080
years
1025
00:33:10,559 --> 00:33:13,840
we have horses that have only been
1026
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,200
trained for a couple of months and we've
1027
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,440
got
1028
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:20,960
my challenge horse who's only been in
1029
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:23,200
training out of the wild for like 37 38
1030
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,279
days something like that right and you
1031
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:27,200
saw they're all different
1032
00:33:25,279 --> 00:33:28,399
in their responses how you can act
1033
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,320
around them
1034
00:33:28,399 --> 00:33:32,559
how jumpy they are
1035
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,840
right
1036
00:33:32,559 --> 00:33:35,360
and that's because the amount of
1037
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,919
conditioning that's gone into them the
1038
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:40,240
more conditioning you have a cumulative
1039
00:33:37,919 --> 00:33:42,240
over years the less reactive you become
1040
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:44,159
the more thinking you become the more
1041
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,760
focused more directional and intentional
1042
00:33:44,159 --> 00:33:47,840
the horse becomes well the same thing
1043
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,600
works with with humans so if you're
1044
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,080
highly reactive to something the first
1045
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:54,480
thing is to find your triggers what
1046
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,840
triggers you
1047
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,519
right most people don't ever look at
1048
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,039
that oh it just makes me angry to even
1049
00:33:57,519 --> 00:34:01,760
think about it good
1050
00:33:59,039 --> 00:34:03,840
sit with that [ __ ] for a second
1051
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:06,559
and now that you've sat with it what are
1052
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,440
they what are your triggers
1053
00:34:06,559 --> 00:34:11,200
okay
1054
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:13,359
this is say this is my trigger so
1055
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:16,720
i don't know i
1056
00:34:13,359 --> 00:34:18,879
end up fighting with my girlfriend
1057
00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:21,599
for whatever arbitrary reason every
1058
00:34:18,879 --> 00:34:23,440
single day um
1059
00:34:21,599 --> 00:34:25,760
why
1060
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,599
why does that cause you to get into a
1061
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,359
fight and lose control what is the
1062
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:32,639
trigger what makes it so that you can't
1063
00:34:29,359 --> 00:34:35,599
handle yourself like a man
1064
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:37,440
and have a respectful conversation
1065
00:34:35,599 --> 00:34:38,560
with your woman why do you fly off the
1066
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,800
handle
1067
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,599
right why does she fly off the handle at
1068
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:42,960
you
1069
00:34:41,599 --> 00:34:45,040
maybe it's something you're doing to
1070
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,399
trigger her so you could find your own
1071
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,599
what you're doing to trigger that
1072
00:34:46,399 --> 00:34:49,520
situation
1073
00:34:47,599 --> 00:34:51,200
right and remove
1074
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:54,240
that trigger from her life now all of a
1075
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,040
sudden she doesn't get like that
1076
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:56,960
right
1077
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,560
and so not only can you remove your own
1078
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,000
triggers but you can remove things that
1079
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:02,560
trigger other people so if there's
1080
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:04,000
conflict or static in your life
1081
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,359
you can remove those triggers from
1082
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,720
people that you choose to be around and
1083
00:35:05,359 --> 00:35:08,320
now all of a sudden that person is the
1084
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,119
person you like being around instead of
1085
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,040
that
1086
00:35:09,119 --> 00:35:12,480
that section of that person that that
1087
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,800
you don't like that sometimes is
1088
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,640
triggered by us and we can't affect
1089
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,720
other people we can't be like you have
1090
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:20,960
to get rid of your triggers
1091
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:23,119
right right but we can get rid of our
1092
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,640
own and we can recognize the way that we
1093
00:35:23,119 --> 00:35:26,960
trigger other people
1094
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,960
and we can improve that right and as a
1095
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,839
result we
1096
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:33,839
directly
1097
00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:34,880
alter the way that that person interacts
1098
00:35:33,839 --> 00:35:36,640
with us
1099
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,079
it's something i struggled with for a
1100
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,280
long time was just kind of zooming out
1101
00:35:38,079 --> 00:35:40,800
to where i could even get to that point
1102
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,560
so i would try
1103
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,960
writing it down and journaling and i
1104
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,400
just i hated it i but all the quote
1105
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,560
unquote experts were saying that so
1106
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,920
something that i've done ever since when
1107
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,079
we were talking earlier in the podcast
1108
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,520
of recording myself is if i ever find
1109
00:35:52,079 --> 00:35:55,280
myself getting caught up in something or
1110
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,359
if i'm trying to be more aware of
1111
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:59,040
something i literally just pace around
1112
00:35:57,359 --> 00:36:00,800
and record myself
1113
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,560
like speaking my way through it i speak
1114
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,839
my way to the answer
1115
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,200
so for everybody that's listening that's
1116
00:36:03,839 --> 00:36:06,720
something that they could do right now
1117
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,839
go sit out in your car
1118
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:10,240
so your family doesn't think you're
1119
00:36:07,839 --> 00:36:12,000
crazy whatever but literally just record
1120
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:13,839
yourself and only ask yourself questions
1121
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:16,079
that was something actually you gave me
1122
00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:17,359
was just asking questions like
1123
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:18,880
i never even thought about that that's
1124
00:36:17,359 --> 00:36:19,760
how you start to think that's how you
1125
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,280
start
1126
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,640
like okay why does this make me feel
1127
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,079
this way and you're sitting there
1128
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,240
recording yourself and you can just
1129
00:36:24,079 --> 00:36:27,760
there's no judgment it's just yourself
1130
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,760
you're the only person that's going to
1131
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:31,119
hear it yeah so you could do this every
1132
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,920
time you start feeling yourself getting
1133
00:36:31,119 --> 00:36:33,680
like
1134
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:36,160
why am i getting triggered just go
1135
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:37,760
pause record yourself speak your way
1136
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,160
through to the answer and then that's
1137
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,839
going to give you a level of awareness
1138
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,280
that maybe journaling wouldn't do
1139
00:36:41,839 --> 00:36:45,040
because for me i hate it it's bringing
1140
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,400
up a really good point because there's
1141
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,640
there's
1142
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:50,079
three kinds of inner monologue that
1143
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,000
people think about
1144
00:36:50,079 --> 00:36:54,160
some people think in terms of actual
1145
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,760
words so like i've always got thinking
1146
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,079
like the speaking out loud that you do
1147
00:36:55,760 --> 00:37:00,720
that happens in my brain 24 7. like
1148
00:36:58,079 --> 00:37:01,520
there's like 150 channels going at once
1149
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:03,599
yeah
1150
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:05,200
figuring different processes and tasks
1151
00:37:03,599 --> 00:37:06,880
and problems out
1152
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,960
some people don't think like that some
1153
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,240
people think in images
1154
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,440
right
1155
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,440
and so
1156
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,560
that is a harder thing to overcome
1157
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,079
because
1158
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,920
thinking through your internal monologue
1159
00:37:16,079 --> 00:37:19,839
with images as you think of the thing
1160
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,200
that you need to do
1161
00:37:19,839 --> 00:37:24,000
and you see the image of the thing that
1162
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:26,720
scares you so it pushes you back
1163
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,480
right but that's why doing the external
1164
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:30,160
dialogue is a good thing to do
1165
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,560
especially for that kind of person who
1166
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:34,960
thinks like that in images
1167
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,400
is now you're enabling those words to
1168
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,240
come out
1169
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,160
right so you're processing what you're
1170
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:41,920
thinking it's just usually that kind of
1171
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,800
person sees the images instead of the
1172
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,119
words
1173
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:46,960
um but now you're getting the words out
1174
00:37:45,119 --> 00:37:49,119
and words are how we communicate so
1175
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,800
you're communicating with yourself some
1176
00:37:49,119 --> 00:37:52,640
people have that capability just inside
1177
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,400
their head others don't the third person
1178
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,920
is someone that just doesn't actually
1179
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:58,240
have an inner monologue and that's not
1180
00:37:55,920 --> 00:38:00,240
good or bad either there just isn't one
1181
00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,440
that exists that's
1182
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,359
that's what i told you i've actually
1183
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:05,040
been striving to do is to calm all of
1184
00:38:03,359 --> 00:38:07,440
that noise that's what meditation is
1185
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,400
yeah and go to zero mind as bruce lee
1186
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,160
calls it
1187
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,839
right that's what i've been striving to
1188
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:14,000
do and just recently i've been able to
1189
00:38:11,839 --> 00:38:15,680
get to a point where i can do that
1190
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,920
and it sounds like oh it's empty they're
1191
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,040
dumb that's not how it is well some it
1192
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,200
might be
1193
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,160
but if it's intentional
1194
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,000
um
1195
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,839
or if it's just natural but you're still
1196
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,520
a thinker you just don't have the
1197
00:38:25,839 --> 00:38:29,920
internal monologue
1198
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:33,040
that's a very calm place where you're
1199
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:34,560
basically not reactive right it's hard
1200
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,560
to be reactive when there's nothing to
1201
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:38,000
react to
1202
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,599
um
1203
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,320
but anyways those three internal
1204
00:38:39,599 --> 00:38:44,000
monologues kind of go over this but it's
1205
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:47,200
integral that you communicate to
1206
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:49,440
yourself with words that's why thoughts
1207
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:51,440
words actions are imperative right we
1208
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,520
talked about working on thoughts but now
1209
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:55,680
with what you said where you speak it
1210
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,680
out until you get it out that affects
1211
00:38:55,680 --> 00:39:00,240
those other two type of thinkers those
1212
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:02,880
other two types of internal monologue
1213
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:05,680
drastically because now they're their
1214
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,680
thoughts and their subconscious
1215
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,000
and what they know they want have become
1216
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:11,839
words because they've rambled it it's
1217
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:14,320
called scatting in music
1218
00:39:11,839 --> 00:39:16,560
we're like shoot
1219
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:18,880
i once had a dog and his name was right
1220
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:21,200
like all of a sudden you have lyrics
1221
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:23,119
they literally scat it out and
1222
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:25,040
make noises until the words start to
1223
00:39:23,119 --> 00:39:26,400
come out of their subconscious
1224
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,640
um
1225
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:30,160
and that enables people to turn those
1226
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,160
thoughts those deep thoughts even if
1227
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:34,720
you're not consciously
1228
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:36,480
hearing those words by saying them
1229
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:38,880
you're getting them out there and now
1230
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:41,040
you're communicating to yourself so now
1231
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,960
your your subconscious is communicating
1232
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,720
with your conscious mind and now your
1233
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,920
conscious mind can design the system
1234
00:39:44,720 --> 00:39:47,359
that can
1235
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,200
move you forward with that so that's why
1236
00:39:47,359 --> 00:39:51,280
that's such a great activity and even if
1237
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:53,440
you do think in words it's still good to
1238
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,119
say it it's still good to write it
1239
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,960
because we all learn differently right
1240
00:39:55,119 --> 00:39:58,800
some of us are auditory
1241
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,079
some of us have to read it some of us
1242
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,920
have to write it
1243
00:40:00,079 --> 00:40:03,520
so that's why if you do it and reinforce
1244
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,520
it in all those different multiple ways
1245
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,520
it can really make a huge difference but
1246
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:11,280
that's exactly what you do is
1247
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:13,200
you talk to yourself right
1248
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,880
you communicate with yourself
1249
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,160
use when you talk and you listen to it
1250
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,760
back those are two different types of
1251
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,200
communication when you write it and then
1252
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:21,520
when you read it those are another two
1253
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,839
types of communication and as you stack
1254
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,599
those types of
1255
00:40:22,839 --> 00:40:26,720
communication it actually sinks in even
1256
00:40:25,599 --> 00:40:29,280
better
1257
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:31,119
so like if you write it in a journal
1258
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,640
and you speak it to yourself in a
1259
00:40:31,119 --> 00:40:33,599
recording and you listen to it and you
1260
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,359
read it
1261
00:40:33,599 --> 00:40:37,359
you've now reinforced that learning four
1262
00:40:35,359 --> 00:40:39,520
times right
1263
00:40:37,359 --> 00:40:41,359
so can you touch on the subconscious and
1264
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,040
conscious mind because that's we kind of
1265
00:40:41,359 --> 00:40:45,280
talked about it's not an esoteric thing
1266
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,640
the future the future you now because
1267
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:48,960
for some something that actually held me
1268
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:51,040
back for a while was i tended to be too
1269
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,640
spiritual in my thinking esoteric there
1270
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,319
had to be some secret
1271
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,800
so the subconscious that's actually
1272
00:40:54,319 --> 00:40:59,599
something i i understand at a very
1273
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:02,160
baseline but for the audience can you go
1274
00:40:59,599 --> 00:41:04,560
into the conscious and subconscious and
1275
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,319
take all the esoteric nonsense crumble
1276
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,680
it up and throw it away it has its place
1277
00:41:06,319 --> 00:41:09,040
but to make it a little bit more
1278
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,720
practical because you're just talking
1279
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,440
about how whenever you record yourself
1280
00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:12,720
your
1281
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,560
your conscious and your subconscious
1282
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:15,920
mind are basically communicating so can
1283
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,920
we make this a little bit more practical
1284
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:20,000
for anybody that's interested in that uh
1285
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,359
your subconscious is the unintentional
1286
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,960
mind and your conscious is the
1287
00:41:21,359 --> 00:41:24,480
intentional mind
1288
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:27,119
your consciousness is what you have
1289
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:30,400
control over right but you can condition
1290
00:41:27,119 --> 00:41:32,960
your uncond or your unconscious using
1291
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,560
your conscious mind so like words
1292
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,319
thoughts you have recording yourself
1293
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,319
like we were talking about okay and
1294
00:41:36,319 --> 00:41:40,240
doing you know doing is the most
1295
00:41:38,319 --> 00:41:42,079
critical part
1296
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,680
once you've figured it out you got to go
1297
00:41:42,079 --> 00:41:45,599
out and do it right like you said like
1298
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:48,160
you've seen me pictures of me on horses
1299
00:41:45,599 --> 00:41:49,599
you've watched videos seen video games
1300
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,440
of people riding horses and you're like
1301
00:41:49,599 --> 00:41:53,839
oh that looks cool yeah but it wasn't
1302
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:55,520
until you got on it that you knew holy
1303
00:41:53,839 --> 00:41:57,359
[ __ ] this is really difficult to balance
1304
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:59,200
and like getting up here was hard and
1305
00:41:57,359 --> 00:42:00,720
like i don't really know what to do like
1306
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,079
i get it fundamentally but not really
1307
00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:04,400
because holy [ __ ] now i gotta do a bunch
1308
00:42:02,079 --> 00:42:06,960
of [ __ ] all at once right like it's an
1309
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,560
overwhelming experience the first time
1310
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,640
and that's how pretty much everything is
1311
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:12,319
yeah but that doing it is where you
1312
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,680
transfer from your
1313
00:42:12,319 --> 00:42:15,200
conscious mind because now you're
1314
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,720
figuring it out now you're actually
1315
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:19,280
doing it and you're understanding oh i
1316
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:20,480
pull this and they move their
1317
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,960
pull this and they move their head right
1318
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,240
i pull back and they stop
1319
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,040
oh
1320
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:29,680
right
1321
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:32,079
um and you use everything that you learn
1322
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,200
via your five senses and from doing
1323
00:42:32,079 --> 00:42:35,040
things
1324
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:37,680
that enters your conscious mind you seek
1325
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,440
to understand what you just did and now
1326
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:41,520
that transfers to your unconscious mind
1327
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:43,440
and eventually the things that you learn
1328
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,119
consciously can become unconscious so
1329
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,800
like you watch erica and i ride horses
1330
00:42:45,119 --> 00:42:48,000
and we don't think about it no you don't
1331
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,160
think about it all and how do we
1332
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,040
interact with them anything we just know
1333
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,839
yeah
1334
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:55,839
right and that's where you get to is
1335
00:42:53,839 --> 00:42:57,760
by doing
1336
00:42:55,839 --> 00:42:59,920
you then learn from that tactile
1337
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,760
experience and that passes into your
1338
00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:04,160
subconscious because of conditioning
1339
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:05,920
right right but the conscious mind
1340
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,359
the intentional mind is the mind where
1341
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,160
you say
1342
00:43:07,359 --> 00:43:11,440
i
1343
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:15,119
need to become x therefore i am going to
1344
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:17,440
do y every day to become x
1345
00:43:15,119 --> 00:43:18,960
now your unconscious mind it rules
1346
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,240
things like
1347
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:23,119
are you thinking about breathing right
1348
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:24,640
now not until i said that no
1349
00:43:23,119 --> 00:43:27,280
right right
1350
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:30,400
but now that you're thinking about it
1351
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:32,400
oh i can control my breathing
1352
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,560
wow this is weird yeah well that's a
1353
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,760
transfer from unconscious to conscious
1354
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,119
you weren't thinking about it but you
1355
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,000
were still doing it
1356
00:43:37,119 --> 00:43:41,720
right
1357
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,720
but i can take over
1358
00:43:42,240 --> 00:43:46,480
and i can control how i breathe
1359
00:43:45,119 --> 00:43:47,280
interesting
1360
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,520
right
1361
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:51,920
so you can take over
1362
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:55,599
your hard wiring
1363
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:57,680
so the the the default operating system
1364
00:43:55,599 --> 00:43:59,839
that you're on the people that we call
1365
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:02,079
npcs
1366
00:43:59,839 --> 00:44:04,160
that are operating basic based on
1367
00:44:02,079 --> 00:44:06,560
operating systems that were installed by
1368
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:09,920
other people by society by the news by
1369
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:11,520
their education system by their parents
1370
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,960
right
1371
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:16,960
that is all
1372
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:18,800
within the unconscious mind right
1373
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:21,359
but when you start questioning yourself
1374
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:23,520
why do i do that all the time why do i
1375
00:44:21,359 --> 00:44:24,880
feel this way
1376
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,960
you start to see that you're like holy
1377
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:28,800
[ __ ] that's because my dad taught me to
1378
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,319
be that way my dad taught me to do that
1379
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:32,960
thing and so that's why i do that thing
1380
00:44:30,319 --> 00:44:35,040
all the time even though it ends up
1381
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,319
bad yeah
1382
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,560
okay well now that you've figured that
1383
00:44:36,319 --> 00:44:41,200
out now you can say okay
1384
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:43,680
i've recognized that as a bad trait
1385
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:45,839
that somebody else installed in me what
1386
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:49,280
can i do to get rid of that bad train
1387
00:44:45,839 --> 00:44:49,280
and replace it with a good trait
1388
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:54,800
once you start looking at that process
1389
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,839
okay now that you've thought you start
1390
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,920
to do
1391
00:44:55,839 --> 00:45:00,160
now you do that process until you've
1392
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:02,000
replaced that bad pattern with a good
1393
00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:06,400
pattern through conditioning through
1394
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,400
consistency through doing right
1395
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,720
and now you've replaced that thing that
1396
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:14,160
was installed that wasn't serving you
1397
00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:16,480
and that's how you become better that's
1398
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:18,160
what self-improvement literally is
1399
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,680
it's not reading on twitter all day yeah
1400
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:22,720
reading books it's doing this type of
1401
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:25,520
stuff yes think then do yeah right
1402
00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:27,359
um and then that but it's thinking about
1403
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:29,200
things on this level like
1404
00:45:27,359 --> 00:45:31,280
is that what i why do i do this all the
1405
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,280
time holy [ __ ] that's why i do this okay
1406
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:34,800
how do i stop doing this cool but it's
1407
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,079
not enough to say how do i stop doing
1408
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,920
this how do i stop doing this and
1409
00:45:36,079 --> 00:45:40,800
replace it with something that i want to
1410
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,400
be doing right that's the real question
1411
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,000
and then when you do that now that
1412
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:46,079
pattern is replaced because patterns
1413
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,839
can't just really disappear for the most
1414
00:45:46,079 --> 00:45:51,359
part they have to be replaced we've
1415
00:45:47,839 --> 00:45:52,960
learned this about the human mind and
1416
00:45:51,359 --> 00:45:54,400
some will debate it but for the most
1417
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:56,240
part it's the reason that like
1418
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:58,960
alcoholics anonymous and narcotics
1419
00:45:56,240 --> 00:46:01,040
anonymous are based on
1420
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:02,560
you have an addiction you replace it
1421
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:05,200
with god
1422
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:07,200
with religion with going to church
1423
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:09,359
so instead of doing the bad habit you're
1424
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,800
replacing it with a good habit
1425
00:46:09,359 --> 00:46:12,720
right or at least one that's positive
1426
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,480
self-constructive and maybe even leads
1427
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:15,359
to you growing and things along those
1428
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,119
lines
1429
00:46:15,359 --> 00:46:19,280
um but it's getting rid of this
1430
00:46:17,119 --> 00:46:21,680
ultimately self-destructive habit for a
1431
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:23,119
neutral or a good habit
1432
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:26,000
right that's the fundamental like
1433
00:46:23,119 --> 00:46:27,680
mechanics of how that works and so when
1434
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,920
you realize that the human
1435
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,680
mind functions better that way it's much
1436
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:34,640
easier to do that process than to just
1437
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:36,960
blank out a pattern that you don't want
1438
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:39,119
okay now that we know that
1439
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:41,200
let's replace that bad pattern
1440
00:46:39,119 --> 00:46:43,040
at least a neutral pattern but let's try
1441
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,240
to find a good pattern right
1442
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,599
right
1443
00:46:44,240 --> 00:46:47,920
and you just do that for all the
1444
00:46:45,599 --> 00:46:49,680
individual things that you do all your
1445
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:51,280
quirks that you don't like all of that
1446
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:53,599
sort of stuff so like you said you used
1447
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:55,599
to stutter
1448
00:46:53,599 --> 00:46:57,520
you identified hey i stuttered why do i
1449
00:46:55,599 --> 00:47:00,400
stutter something from childhood most
1450
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:02,000
likely okay well when do i stutter it's
1451
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,319
when i read so what do i need to do i
1452
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:06,640
need to read i practice reading without
1453
00:47:04,319 --> 00:47:08,079
stuttering and condition myself to do
1454
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:10,400
that and guess what now i can read
1455
00:47:08,079 --> 00:47:12,240
without stuttering right and it's not
1456
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,599
that easy for everybody there's
1457
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:16,319
different levels of stuttering there's
1458
00:47:13,599 --> 00:47:18,800
all sorts of things
1459
00:47:16,319 --> 00:47:20,720
and it's the same goes with every issue
1460
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,319
right but you can improve
1461
00:47:20,720 --> 00:47:24,880
right
1462
00:47:22,319 --> 00:47:26,880
so actually to segue slightly uh
1463
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,160
replacing patterns i had a pattern uh
1464
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,119
whenever we first started talking
1465
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,880
together
1466
00:47:29,119 --> 00:47:32,880
uh i had a pattern to try to overwork
1467
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:34,319
myself so i would try to do everything
1468
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,920
myself by this point i already had some
1469
00:47:34,319 --> 00:47:36,800
people working for me but like i would
1470
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,240
still
1471
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,119
if they were taking forever i would just
1472
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:40,800
do it
1473
00:47:39,119 --> 00:47:43,440
and something you really helped me to
1474
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:45,359
stop doing was one wasting my time just
1475
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,480
no nonsense like dylan why are you even
1476
00:47:45,359 --> 00:47:49,359
doing that why don't you just pay
1477
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:51,440
somebody on your team to do that oh okay
1478
00:47:49,359 --> 00:47:53,040
light bulb so for a lot of the guys who
1479
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:55,359
are watching this that maybe they have a
1480
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,640
client two clients three clients
1481
00:47:55,359 --> 00:47:57,680
12 clients i don't know it doesn't
1482
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,119
matter
1483
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:01,119
how can they
1484
00:47:59,119 --> 00:48:02,480
replace that pattern of they feel that
1485
00:48:01,119 --> 00:48:05,599
they need to be doing everything because
1486
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:07,760
they can do it right or if i'm not oh
1487
00:48:05,599 --> 00:48:09,520
just sitting here enjoying my day maybe
1488
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,920
i should be working how do they replace
1489
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:14,960
that pattern of that guilt with
1490
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:16,960
installing their own their own system of
1491
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,880
hiring people to do the tasks that they
1492
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:21,119
don't literally need to do like i don't
1493
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:23,040
need to be writing most of the emails
1494
00:48:21,119 --> 00:48:24,400
for like nine out of 10 of my client
1495
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,559
like most of my clients i don't need to
1496
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:28,559
be sitting there writing the emails i
1497
00:48:26,559 --> 00:48:30,960
have somebody else that does that then i
1498
00:48:28,559 --> 00:48:32,960
come in with a strategy uh maybe they
1499
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:35,359
didn't layer the email properly so i go
1500
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,040
through edit layer it change the subject
1501
00:48:35,359 --> 00:48:39,119
line change the call to action something
1502
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,880
like that or with the various instagram
1503
00:48:39,119 --> 00:48:42,559
accounts that i manage i don't touch
1504
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,520
those i look at them occasionally but
1505
00:48:42,559 --> 00:48:45,760
i've got somebody that makes the
1506
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:48,000
graphics writes the description so how
1507
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:49,359
can the person that wants that they
1508
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:51,280
think they need to do everything
1509
00:48:49,359 --> 00:48:53,280
themselves how can they install a new
1510
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:55,839
pattern of building their own system
1511
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:58,400
well your valuations of self and your
1512
00:48:55,839 --> 00:49:00,640
expectations of self are different than
1513
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:02,880
what reality are
1514
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:04,960
so while you think you're the greatest
1515
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:07,119
[ __ ] that's ever been
1516
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:10,720
and this is in the general sense of you
1517
00:49:07,119 --> 00:49:10,720
to anybody listening or watching
1518
00:49:11,119 --> 00:49:14,880
to you that might be true it should be
1519
00:49:13,359 --> 00:49:16,720
true good
1520
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,640
to your client
1521
00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:20,960
not so true yeah they don't really give
1522
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:23,599
a [ __ ] about you individually they care
1523
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:25,359
about the task that you can do for them
1524
00:49:23,599 --> 00:49:27,680
right and they might care about you
1525
00:49:25,359 --> 00:49:29,839
whatever and not trying to get into your
1526
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:31,920
feelings right now but what i'm saying
1527
00:49:29,839 --> 00:49:33,760
is they care about what you can do for
1528
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:36,319
them
1529
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:37,200
and what you can do for them can it be
1530
00:49:36,319 --> 00:49:39,440
done
1531
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:41,839
by somebody other than you i'm not
1532
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:43,839
saying can you do it better than
1533
00:49:41,839 --> 00:49:45,760
everybody else right that might be true
1534
00:49:43,839 --> 00:49:47,440
okay
1535
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:49,119
but number one does your client need it
1536
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:51,440
at that level
1537
00:49:49,119 --> 00:49:53,119
probably not usually not
1538
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,720
right but you think they do because you
1539
00:49:53,119 --> 00:49:56,559
think you're hot [ __ ] and you think
1540
00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:59,119
you're the only one that can save the
1541
00:49:56,559 --> 00:50:00,720
universe yeah god bless us all for
1542
00:49:59,119 --> 00:50:01,680
thinking we're all the hero in the story
1543
00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:03,599
yeah
1544
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,800
but every single one of us thinks that
1545
00:50:03,599 --> 00:50:07,599
right
1546
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:09,200
um so let somebody else be the hero hire
1547
00:50:07,599 --> 00:50:11,200
somebody you know
1548
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:13,280
to do that task
1549
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:15,839
pay them less
1550
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:18,079
than what the task is worth so that you
1551
00:50:15,839 --> 00:50:20,480
can pay them so that you can pay the
1552
00:50:18,079 --> 00:50:22,240
expenses surrounding them so that you
1553
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:24,079
can pay yourself so that it's worth it
1554
00:50:22,240 --> 00:50:27,040
so that you continue managing that
1555
00:50:24,079 --> 00:50:29,359
business and growing that business
1556
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:30,960
that's what business is
1557
00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:33,280
um
1558
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:35,200
and once you've hired that person
1559
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:37,839
and you still have to fulfill for that
1560
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:40,480
client yeah like you have to absolutely
1561
00:50:37,839 --> 00:50:43,040
make sure that your client is satisfied
1562
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,480
but so long as that's taken care of
1563
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:46,720
who cares if you could have done it
1564
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:48,160
better what does better even mean yeah
1565
00:50:46,720 --> 00:50:50,960
does it get the result yes it means you
1566
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,920
liked it more that was it yeah
1567
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,680
right
1568
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,520
as long as it's getting them the results
1569
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,520
that they want and that they're happy
1570
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:59,599
paying for you're good and that's the
1571
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:01,200
only way you can grow that's the only
1572
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:04,720
way that you can step out from being a
1573
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:06,800
workaholic uh hustle-a-holic yeah
1574
00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:08,480
into an actual business owner like we
1575
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,680
talked about in one of our last podcasts
1576
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,760
here
1577
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:13,280
the difference between self-employed and
1578
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,720
a business owner
1579
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,400
right as a business owner you can
1580
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:18,240
provide more value to the world if you
1581
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,440
truly are as valuable as you think you
1582
00:51:18,240 --> 00:51:21,760
are
1583
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,680
it's your duty to provide your value to
1584
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,280
as many people as possible not just to
1585
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,720
select few
1586
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,400
right you want to you want to pick the
1587
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:31,359
right ones that you're giving this value
1588
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:33,760
to you don't just give it to everybody
1589
00:51:31,359 --> 00:51:36,319
but the more good people that you can
1590
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,680
help with your goodness the better right
1591
00:51:36,319 --> 00:51:40,720
right
1592
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:42,960
so if you're stuck and you have a max
1593
00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:44,559
capacity of say three clients or four
1594
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:46,960
clients or whatever one client who knows
1595
00:51:44,559 --> 00:51:46,960
what it is
1596
00:51:47,599 --> 00:51:51,680
if you can still
1597
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:56,000
get them the results that they need to
1598
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:58,240
grow their sphere of goodness
1599
00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,160
it's your responsibility to find a way
1600
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:02,400
to do that in the most efficient way so
1601
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:04,160
that you can find someone else that has
1602
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,079
a sphere of goodness that needs to be
1603
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:08,640
expanded because you're just out there
1604
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:09,839
expanding spheres of awesomeness in the
1605
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,920
universe
1606
00:52:09,839 --> 00:52:14,079
whatever you deem awesome
1607
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:16,400
go expand it
1608
00:52:14,079 --> 00:52:18,880
but do so efficiently don't just work
1609
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:21,839
yourself to the bone and sacrifice
1610
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:22,960
yourself you don't need to be a martyr
1611
00:52:21,839 --> 00:52:24,960
right
1612
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:27,920
don't sacrifice yourself to go out and
1613
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:30,720
grow these fears of excellence
1614
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:32,640
instead find the most efficient ways
1615
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:35,119
possible of growing these spheres of
1616
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:37,040
influence and then systemize it right
1617
00:52:35,119 --> 00:52:40,720
right find somebody do
1618
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:42,960
job x find somebody to do job y
1619
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:44,640
find somebody to do job z sometimes
1620
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:47,760
you'll get crossovers somebody can rock
1621
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:50,480
x and y cool but don't look to like find
1622
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,599
people either that do everything oh yeah
1623
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:54,800
all right
1624
00:52:51,599 --> 00:52:57,920
find one or two tasks where you can
1625
00:52:54,800 --> 00:53:01,760
solidify the value of this task is x i
1626
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:04,400
can pay them y x is more than y
1627
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,839
no right and really a more complicated
1628
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:08,480
version of that is
1629
00:53:05,839 --> 00:53:09,680
why plus the expenses of keeping them
1630
00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,760
hired
1631
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:13,280
scaling the business and paying yourself
1632
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:16,559
right that's really what you're looking
1633
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:18,960
to to get to but as long as that value x
1634
00:53:16,559 --> 00:53:21,119
is greater than the sum of that
1635
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,280
you're good right
1636
00:53:21,119 --> 00:53:27,040
and just scale that up whether it's
1637
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:30,240
doing sales calls or onboarding or the
1638
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,839
actual email writing or research you
1639
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:33,359
know market research things like that
1640
00:53:31,839 --> 00:53:35,200
whatever the tasks are that are out
1641
00:53:33,359 --> 00:53:37,200
there that you can put on somebody
1642
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,280
else's plate so that everything can get
1643
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:41,599
done and the more you can turn that into
1644
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:43,200
systems and employees working together
1645
00:53:41,599 --> 00:53:44,480
and systems and employees working
1646
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,839
together the better because now you're
1647
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,839
going to go out and you're going to be
1648
00:53:45,839 --> 00:53:49,200
able to do that for not just one person
1649
00:53:47,839 --> 00:53:50,800
but two people then you'll figure out
1650
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,720
how to balance two people and you'll be
1651
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:54,640
able to do it for four then once you
1652
00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:56,240
know how to do it for four you realize
1653
00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:58,480
that you need a manager to do this you
1654
00:53:56,240 --> 00:54:00,640
need somebody here here here here here
1655
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,640
here here etc
1656
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:04,800
but you can put a manager on that task
1657
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:06,160
and now you can expand to eight
1658
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:08,000
right and you find a manager for the
1659
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:09,599
eight and then now you're doing 16 and
1660
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:11,920
you find a manager for that and this is
1661
00:54:09,599 --> 00:54:14,000
how corporations are built out naturally
1662
00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:15,599
yeah
1663
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,800
that's it that's the whole that's the
1664
00:54:15,599 --> 00:54:19,200
whole game
1665
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,200
um
1666
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:25,440
but you have to start thinking
1667
00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:27,520
in separating yourself so that your
1668
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:29,440
awesomeness can spread more so that you
1669
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:31,599
can create more value in the world
1670
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:33,440
because that's how you make more money
1671
00:54:31,599 --> 00:54:35,920
and that's how even if you're all true
1672
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:38,160
altruistic as [ __ ] and want to give away
1673
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:39,839
all of your money that's how you make
1674
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:42,160
the kind of money with your business to
1675
00:54:39,839 --> 00:54:44,160
hire employees
1676
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:46,319
and give them good lives give them good
1677
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:47,920
jobs give them good benefits all of that
1678
00:54:46,319 --> 00:54:49,680
sort of stuff that's how you donate to
1679
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:52,160
charities that's how you do the most
1680
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:53,359
altruistic stuff in the world at scale
1681
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:56,559
yeah
1682
00:54:53,359 --> 00:54:58,000
if people it goes back to like you think
1683
00:54:56,559 --> 00:54:59,119
that you have to be the savior and that
1684
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,119
was something you actually helped me
1685
00:54:59,119 --> 00:55:03,040
with i can't remember the context of the
1686
00:55:01,119 --> 00:55:05,040
conversation but i was we were
1687
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:07,040
communicating about something and i felt
1688
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:08,480
compelled to like just shut everything
1689
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:10,240
down for that day and help this one
1690
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,440
person really stop trying to be the
1691
00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:12,960
savior so
1692
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,040
what do you think it is that causes
1693
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:17,280
people and i i know your answer
1694
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:19,440
obviously for the audience that makes
1695
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:21,359
people feel compelled
1696
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:23,280
to be the savior for and we can keep in
1697
00:55:21,359 --> 00:55:24,559
the context of freelancing but like to
1698
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,760
be the savior for their client because
1699
00:55:24,559 --> 00:55:27,920
whenever we first started doing the
1700
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:30,880
consulting together uh before we became
1701
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:32,720
partners and good friends uh i was that
1702
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:34,160
guy that would i would literally work 18
1703
00:55:32,720 --> 00:55:35,440
hours a day if i had to so like i would
1704
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:38,000
always have my phone on me and i
1705
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:39,680
remember going to this i was in bogota i
1706
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,760
went to a mountain and didn't have any
1707
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:43,040
service so i was like oh my god as soon
1708
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,640
as i get back i'm going to have like a
1709
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,920
billion different messages i got back
1710
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:48,079
and i think it was like two messages one
1711
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,359
for my mom and one from one of my
1712
00:55:48,079 --> 00:55:50,960
clients just basically asking how
1713
00:55:49,359 --> 00:55:53,200
everything was going yeah that was it
1714
00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:54,240
two text messages and you thought it was
1715
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:57,520
gonna be
1716
00:55:54,240 --> 00:55:59,520
like end times performance of texts like
1717
00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:01,200
a fight or flight and like so how could
1718
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:03,839
somebody that's from a freelancing
1719
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:05,920
perspective get out of that and they
1720
00:56:03,839 --> 00:56:08,559
need to be the savior they think it's
1721
00:56:05,920 --> 00:56:10,640
like how's the word life or death with
1722
00:56:08,559 --> 00:56:12,000
like for those text messages like come
1723
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,440
on how can somebody step out of that as
1724
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,040
a freelancer well first give yourself
1725
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:17,200
permission to step back from that and
1726
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:19,440
realize that somebody else's crisis is
1727
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:22,240
not your emergency understand this will
1728
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:23,760
prosper right um
1729
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:24,960
just because they don't have their [ __ ]
1730
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,160
together
1731
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:28,319
doesn't mean that you shouldn't have
1732
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:31,280
your [ __ ] together
1733
00:56:28,319 --> 00:56:33,520
so they don't need 24 hour access to you
1734
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:35,359
they're not paying for 24-hour access to
1735
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:37,280
you they're paying for a specific thing
1736
00:56:35,359 --> 00:56:38,079
do that thing go above and beyond but
1737
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,599
don't
1738
00:56:38,079 --> 00:56:41,760
don't destroy your own life to
1739
00:56:39,599 --> 00:56:44,319
facilitate that need because the reason
1740
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:46,559
that you're doing that is for validation
1741
00:56:44,319 --> 00:56:49,599
you want the credit and the recognition
1742
00:56:46,559 --> 00:56:51,440
of saving somebody's business right
1743
00:56:49,599 --> 00:56:54,079
right so
1744
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,760
all of that [ __ ] is made up in your head
1745
00:56:54,079 --> 00:56:57,040
that's not what they paid you for that's
1746
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,040
not what they wanted that's not what
1747
00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:02,640
they were looking for but if you try to
1748
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:02,640
give that to them people will take it
1749
00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:07,680
so like what about for a guy so i'm just
1750
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,799
going through some of the conversations
1751
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:09,599
i've had with people over the last few
1752
00:57:08,799 --> 00:57:11,920
days
1753
00:57:09,599 --> 00:57:13,119
i've got one of my one of our students
1754
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,640
and he
1755
00:57:13,119 --> 00:57:16,240
was the context of you know graphic
1756
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:19,200
designer and so he's managing an
1757
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:21,200
instagram page right now and he has one
1758
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:23,119
client that was one of his first clients
1759
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,799
but doesn't pay him nearly as much he's
1760
00:57:23,119 --> 00:57:27,599
got another client that he's doing less
1761
00:57:24,799 --> 00:57:28,480
work for but making more like more money
1762
00:57:27,599 --> 00:57:31,119
from
1763
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:32,720
but he still feels compelled to go above
1764
00:57:31,119 --> 00:57:35,680
and beyond for that first client that
1765
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:37,920
gave him the shot uh they got him in the
1766
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:40,160
position that he's in now because it's
1767
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,520
out of loyalty and all this other stuff
1768
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:43,520
how can somebody that's in that
1769
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,799
situation where they've got one client
1770
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:46,799
two clients three clients they've been
1771
00:57:44,799 --> 00:57:48,079
with forever but now they're finally in
1772
00:57:46,799 --> 00:57:50,079
the position where they're earning more
1773
00:57:48,079 --> 00:57:51,920
working less yeah
1774
00:57:50,079 --> 00:57:53,839
i mean i i know the solution probably
1775
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:56,559
would be to hire somebody to take over
1776
00:57:53,839 --> 00:57:57,359
those clients so you can then still help
1777
00:57:56,559 --> 00:57:58,640
them
1778
00:57:57,359 --> 00:57:59,920
but then you can take on more clients
1779
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:02,160
but how can somebody get out of that
1780
00:57:59,920 --> 00:58:03,839
state of mind where they either ask for
1781
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:05,359
more money or if they really want to
1782
00:58:03,839 --> 00:58:07,680
stay they can just hire somebody how can
1783
00:58:05,359 --> 00:58:09,520
they give themselves permission uh to do
1784
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,599
that to overcome that type of barrier
1785
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:13,920
because it limits their income yeah um
1786
00:58:11,599 --> 00:58:16,559
well i mean just do that
1787
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:18,400
objectively look at your situation
1788
00:58:16,559 --> 00:58:20,319
and realize that when you started you
1789
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,880
were only worth x but now you're worth
1790
00:58:20,319 --> 00:58:24,880
why right right
1791
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:26,160
and now you have somebody else so this
1792
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:28,000
isn't just in theory but you have
1793
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:29,760
someone else that's paying you y and
1794
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,760
it's taking you far less time to do y
1795
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,440
than it is to get x still with that
1796
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:35,680
original client
1797
00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:37,440
well go out and find another client like
1798
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:40,319
the one that's paying you y maybe even
1799
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:42,240
at z raise that price a little bit more
1800
00:58:40,319 --> 00:58:45,040
right so now you'll have three clients
1801
00:58:42,240 --> 00:58:47,200
instead of one right those other two are
1802
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:49,760
willing to pay you that much
1803
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:52,960
now you have really no risk of losing
1804
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:55,839
that bottom client and while you want to
1805
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:57,599
go above and beyond for them and you
1806
00:58:55,839 --> 00:59:00,319
want them to succeed and you want to
1807
00:58:57,599 --> 00:59:01,760
keep working with them
1808
00:59:00,319 --> 00:59:03,440
tell them all that
1809
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:05,760
but also tell them what the other guys
1810
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:07,119
are paying you and give them the option
1811
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:09,920
to decide
1812
00:59:07,119 --> 00:59:12,960
if what your value to the world is
1813
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:14,880
is worth it to them right
1814
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:17,280
and if it's not
1815
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:19,520
you can find somebody else to take your
1816
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:20,960
place for them you can hire someone so
1817
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:22,400
it steps down a little bit but they're
1818
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:24,480
still getting exactly what they needed
1819
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:27,040
because your value is now z
1820
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:30,079
no not x so find somebody that you can
1821
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:32,720
hire that can provide x as value
1822
00:59:30,079 --> 00:59:35,440
if he's only willing to pay for x okay
1823
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:38,160
but you don't get x service at our z
1824
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:40,799
service at x price
1825
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:42,960
because i can't financially do that i
1826
00:59:40,799 --> 00:59:43,760
can't energetically do that
1827
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,920
right
1828
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:47,680
i'm worth this much because this is now
1829
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:49,599
what i provide when i first started and
1830
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:52,880
i started charging you that amount i
1831
00:59:49,599 --> 00:59:54,880
could only provide so much value but now
1832
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:56,079
because i've self-improved that value
1833
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:58,720
has increased and increased and
1834
00:59:56,079 --> 01:00:00,799
increased and increased
1835
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:03,440
so the value i'm giving you just by
1836
01:00:00,799 --> 01:00:05,520
default is higher than this level so we
1837
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:07,440
need to make a difference here and it's
1838
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:08,480
not like a job you're not in a job
1839
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,480
anymore
1840
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:12,079
right this is a business arrangement
1841
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:14,640
either it makes sense for that business
1842
01:00:12,079 --> 01:00:16,240
financially or it doesn't
1843
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,480
and if it does
1844
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:20,319
they're gonna do it if it doesn't
1845
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:21,760
they'll have all sorts of reasons why oh
1846
01:00:20,319 --> 01:00:23,760
i can't believe you're gonna leave me
1847
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,040
well if you need me to survive number
1848
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,400
one i probably shouldn't have been in
1849
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:27,520
that business partnership in the first
1850
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:28,960
place
1851
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:31,359
shouldn't have been in that relationship
1852
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:33,599
as a freelancer um
1853
01:00:31,359 --> 01:00:35,599
but anyways if you need me to survive
1854
01:00:33,599 --> 01:00:37,920
that's not on me
1855
01:00:35,599 --> 01:00:39,839
just like it's not on you for me to
1856
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,240
survive if tomorrow you decided that you
1857
01:00:39,839 --> 01:00:44,880
didn't want to pay me anymore
1858
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:48,160
what could i do about that nothing that
1859
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:51,599
happens all the time in freelancing yeah
1860
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:53,599
so every man for himself in business is
1861
01:00:51,599 --> 01:00:55,200
really how things work and that's how it
1862
01:00:53,599 --> 01:00:58,720
should work you shouldn't expect other
1863
01:00:55,200 --> 01:01:01,599
people you shouldn't have these um
1864
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:03,680
this crazy sense that other people need
1865
01:01:01,599 --> 01:01:05,280
to take care of you you're not a child
1866
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:07,119
anymore so they're not going to take
1867
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:08,799
care of you but
1868
01:01:07,119 --> 01:01:11,440
as the equivalent to that for the rest
1869
01:01:08,799 --> 01:01:13,839
of the world they can't expect you to
1870
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:15,520
save them right right there's some
1871
01:01:13,839 --> 01:01:17,839
people that we're beholden to like this
1872
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:20,640
because we decide to be our families
1873
01:01:17,839 --> 01:01:22,960
right you know wives kids whatever
1874
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:24,640
that's fine but not everybody gets that
1875
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:26,079
level of service that's just not how it
1876
01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:28,400
works they need to worry about
1877
01:01:26,079 --> 01:01:30,559
themselves so if they say
1878
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:31,599
well without you my business will fail
1879
01:01:30,559 --> 01:01:34,240
or whatever
1880
01:01:31,599 --> 01:01:35,520
i'll never find somebody as good be like
1881
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:37,280
correct
1882
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:38,319
but you can pay for somebody this good
1883
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:40,960
right now i'm giving you that
1884
01:01:38,319 --> 01:01:43,760
opportunity but you don't want to you
1885
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:46,079
only want to pay for that level not this
1886
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,079
level
1887
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:50,319
so all the best in finding that level at
1888
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:51,920
that price
1889
01:01:50,319 --> 01:01:53,359
i wish you luck i'll even try to help
1890
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:55,359
you find somebody i'll talk to some of
1891
01:01:53,359 --> 01:01:57,760
the people i know or whatever no see if
1892
01:01:55,359 --> 01:01:58,640
they want to take that so i've done that
1893
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,160
and
1894
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:02,160
the first thing for me was accepting
1895
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:03,359
like i did it kind of out of necessity
1896
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:05,920
it was after we were talking i was like
1897
01:02:03,359 --> 01:02:07,680
okay i can't keep uh moving this way
1898
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:09,760
yeah it's giving yourself permission and
1899
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:11,680
realizing it's not bad like it's all in
1900
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:14,319
the way you do it just because you're
1901
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:16,400
worth or z now and they're paying you
1902
01:02:14,319 --> 01:02:18,960
for x that's okay if you don't if you're
1903
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:20,880
not going to work together so how i uh
1904
01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:22,240
transitioned that was i reached into my
1905
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:24,079
network of other freelancers and i
1906
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:26,319
connected them with somebody that was i
1907
01:02:24,079 --> 01:02:28,559
wouldn't say as good as me but was
1908
01:02:26,319 --> 01:02:30,799
willing to at least provide x yeah
1909
01:02:28,559 --> 01:02:33,119
exactly right and they're super happy
1910
01:02:30,799 --> 01:02:34,480
with it and i i helped that transition i
1911
01:02:33,119 --> 01:02:36,720
stayed there so
1912
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:38,480
it's not that you're bad if they decide
1913
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:41,440
that oh yeah i just can't pay afford to
1914
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:43,039
pay you that it's not bad if your value
1915
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:45,039
grows while you're providing for
1916
01:02:43,039 --> 01:02:46,240
somebody but the value of their business
1917
01:02:45,039 --> 01:02:49,119
doesn't grow
1918
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:51,359
their business is not dependent on your
1919
01:02:49,119 --> 01:02:52,720
results
1920
01:02:51,359 --> 01:02:54,880
wow
1921
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:57,359
that's a very good point right so if
1922
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:59,280
they didn't grow with you growing
1923
01:02:57,359 --> 01:03:02,480
that's not on you
1924
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:03,839
literally mathematically not on you
1925
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,839
because they should have transitioned
1926
01:03:03,839 --> 01:03:07,280
the value that you were providing into
1927
01:03:05,839 --> 01:03:09,039
making more money
1928
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:10,880
and more value for their company but
1929
01:03:09,039 --> 01:03:11,839
they didn't
1930
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:14,400
right
1931
01:03:11,839 --> 01:03:16,319
your value has changed so now it's time
1932
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:19,760
to move on because their value didn't
1933
01:03:16,319 --> 01:03:21,520
change you leveled up they didn't right
1934
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,119
and then you level up again and you
1935
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:25,760
level up again but you're still keeping
1936
01:03:23,119 --> 01:03:27,280
this person around why
1937
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,839
you don't matter to their business like
1938
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:31,680
you think you do
1939
01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:33,440
yeah right they're doing something to
1940
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,720
[ __ ] it up so that your value doesn't
1941
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,839
mean much
1942
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:38,000
otherwise they would have at least
1943
01:03:35,839 --> 01:03:39,520
leveled up once or twice and paid you a
1944
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:41,599
little bit more because they were making
1945
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:43,440
more right
1946
01:03:41,599 --> 01:03:44,880
so on the opposite opposite side of the
1947
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,640
spectrum what about if somebody's
1948
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:48,400
listening to this has a client and
1949
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:50,559
they're still getting paid
1950
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:53,039
whatever x and they've already gotten
1951
01:03:50,559 --> 01:03:54,720
some payment or pay increases
1952
01:03:53,039 --> 01:03:56,000
uh but the business whenever they start
1953
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:58,720
working together is like right here and
1954
01:03:56,000 --> 01:04:00,400
now it's consistently going up up up up
1955
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:02,480
up up up up but there's
1956
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:04,079
so many other hands involved in the pie
1957
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:06,400
so that they can't necessarily say if
1958
01:04:04,079 --> 01:04:08,640
it's because of them or whatever how can
1959
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:10,559
they transition to would you say just
1960
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,760
asking for more pay like what type of
1961
01:04:10,559 --> 01:04:13,119
moves could a friend
1962
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:15,039
ask okay
1963
01:04:13,119 --> 01:04:16,799
have you have you even asked because
1964
01:04:15,039 --> 01:04:19,039
most of the time that answer is no yeah
1965
01:04:16,799 --> 01:04:21,200
almost ever literally no so
1966
01:04:19,039 --> 01:04:23,200
for the guys that are just too [ __ ]
1967
01:04:21,200 --> 01:04:25,200
like what are some like
1968
01:04:23,200 --> 01:04:26,640
framing of sentences that we could give
1969
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:28,000
them to ask for more money because we
1970
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:30,880
were talking about this yeah so if
1971
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:32,559
you've asked and they said no
1972
01:04:30,880 --> 01:04:34,079
that's a red flag
1973
01:04:32,559 --> 01:04:36,640
so you should probably be spending more
1974
01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:39,039
time on finding a different client
1975
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:40,880
for ground one but if you haven't asked
1976
01:04:39,039 --> 01:04:41,839
you're afraid to ask and that sort of
1977
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,920
thing
1978
01:04:41,839 --> 01:04:46,160
look at the value that you're providing
1979
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:47,599
can you objectively map out
1980
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,960
that you're providing that person in
1981
01:04:47,599 --> 01:04:51,280
value we talked about this with one of
1982
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:52,960
your clients at one point like where
1983
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:55,599
when you started out they were making
1984
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:57,039
like a thousand dollars a day yeah by
1985
01:04:55,599 --> 01:04:58,559
the time you started getting rocking
1986
01:04:57,039 --> 01:04:59,920
they were making ten thousand dollars a
1987
01:04:58,559 --> 01:05:01,599
day but you were still being paid a
1988
01:04:59,920 --> 01:05:02,640
thousand dollars a month
1989
01:05:01,599 --> 01:05:05,119
yeah
1990
01:05:02,640 --> 01:05:08,079
so there's obvious value there and that
1991
01:05:05,119 --> 01:05:10,720
value outweighs what you're asking for
1992
01:05:08,079 --> 01:05:12,880
as compensation so when you go to them
1993
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:14,720
bring that to their attention listen
1994
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:18,400
you're making an extra 9 grand a day
1995
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:20,240
times 30 days so that's what 27
1996
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:22,640
a lot
1997
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:25,280
a lot of [ __ ] money yeah right say
1998
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:27,280
say it's 27 units
1999
01:05:25,280 --> 01:05:29,119
well i'm asking you for a three unit
2000
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:31,200
raise yeah
2001
01:05:29,119 --> 01:05:34,480
so now you're going to be paying me four
2002
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:36,720
units but you're still making 27 units
2003
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:38,079
if not i get it but i can't do this
2004
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:40,799
level of work
2005
01:05:38,079 --> 01:05:42,079
for this amount of money right i'm gonna
2006
01:05:40,799 --> 01:05:43,440
have to go find
2007
01:05:42,079 --> 01:05:44,720
someone else to work with or i found
2008
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:46,640
someone else to work with and you just
2009
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:48,880
give them that opportunity but you sh
2010
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:50,400
you present your real world value
2011
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,920
like i know that we've gotten this
2012
01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:53,680
result
2013
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:56,720
while i've been here
2014
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:58,720
me specifically so i know that the value
2015
01:05:56,720 --> 01:06:00,799
that i produce for you
2016
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:02,480
is this high right so i'm asking for
2017
01:06:00,799 --> 01:06:04,880
something that's less than that total
2018
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:06,480
value so you're still making more by
2019
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,599
having me around
2020
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:09,280
and
2021
01:06:07,599 --> 01:06:10,880
you know that if you go out and get
2022
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:13,200
someone else you're going to start back
2023
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:14,400
at a thousand per day you know because
2024
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:17,599
they're not going to be able to provide
2025
01:06:14,400 --> 01:06:20,240
the results for you like i am so
2026
01:06:17,599 --> 01:06:22,319
risk and cost and all of this thing work
2027
01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:24,559
in your favor to pay me
2028
01:06:22,319 --> 01:06:28,240
say 4 000 a month to make you
2029
01:06:24,559 --> 01:06:30,480
300 grand a month right right
2030
01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:32,480
um but if you
2031
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:34,319
decide that you can't pay me four grand
2032
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:36,079
to make 300 grand
2033
01:06:34,319 --> 01:06:37,440
i leave
2034
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:40,160
and you go to someone that's only going
2035
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:42,799
to cost you one grand
2036
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:47,359
but now your income
2037
01:06:42,799 --> 01:06:49,520
drops back to say 30 grand per month
2038
01:06:47,359 --> 01:06:51,680
so you're spending 1 grand to make 30
2039
01:06:49,520 --> 01:06:53,440
grand or you're spending 4 times that
2040
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:54,799
amount to make 10 times that amount
2041
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:57,760
right
2042
01:06:54,799 --> 01:07:00,640
these are your choices so if i leave
2043
01:06:57,760 --> 01:07:02,160
your income drops by 10 times but if you
2044
01:07:00,640 --> 01:07:04,000
just pay me more
2045
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:07,039
what i'm asking
2046
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:08,799
your expense for me goes up four times
2047
01:07:07,039 --> 01:07:10,640
but you're still making 10 times the
2048
01:07:08,799 --> 01:07:12,319
money
2049
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:14,319
right
2050
01:07:12,319 --> 01:07:17,039
right so
2051
01:07:14,319 --> 01:07:19,200
the expenses
2052
01:07:17,039 --> 01:07:21,280
aren't linear to the income increase and
2053
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:23,119
decrease
2054
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:26,400
so it's in your best interest to pay me
2055
01:07:23,119 --> 01:07:28,640
more right right [ __ ] you pay me
2056
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,880
as the adage goes
2057
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:32,799
um that's the attitude you don't say
2058
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,480
that too it's a good attitude to have
2059
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:37,039
yeah it's a really good attitude um
2060
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:38,559
because you know what you're worth
2061
01:07:37,039 --> 01:07:41,119
right
2062
01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:43,200
you know what you're worth to them
2063
01:07:41,119 --> 01:07:46,240
specifically and if they're not willing
2064
01:07:43,200 --> 01:07:48,240
to pay you what you're worth
2065
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:49,760
then you probably shouldn't be there the
2066
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:52,000
problem comes with these entitled
2067
01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:54,319
[ __ ] who say i earn my client
2068
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:55,280
300 grand a month i deserve 300 grand a
2069
01:07:54,319 --> 01:07:56,880
month
2070
01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:58,079
now business not how it works
2071
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,640
[Music]
2072
01:07:58,079 --> 01:08:02,559
but if you can make somebody more money
2073
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:03,760
than what you charge them they're going
2074
01:08:02,559 --> 01:08:06,079
to do it
2075
01:08:03,760 --> 01:08:08,079
to a certain extent you can't be like
2076
01:08:06,079 --> 01:08:11,280
i'll charge you three grand a month and
2077
01:08:08,079 --> 01:08:13,039
i'll make you thousand and one dollars
2078
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:14,880
that's not worth dealing with you as a
2079
01:08:13,039 --> 01:08:16,960
freelancer in all of the [ __ ] that
2080
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:18,960
they have to do dealing with customers
2081
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,480
that you bring them or whatever but if
2082
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:22,960
you say i'll charge you three grand a
2083
01:08:20,480 --> 01:08:24,719
month and i'll make you 30 grand a month
2084
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:26,239
that's worth it
2085
01:08:24,719 --> 01:08:27,440
right or even i'll charge you three
2086
01:08:26,239 --> 01:08:28,799
grand a month and you'll be making 10
2087
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:31,520
grand a month even that's worth it to
2088
01:08:28,799 --> 01:08:33,759
some levels of business yeah
2089
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:35,040
but it's a multiplier
2090
01:08:33,759 --> 01:08:36,719
your value
2091
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:39,040
times x
2092
01:08:36,719 --> 01:08:41,040
equals a certain level that that person
2093
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:43,279
is comfortable with making that
2094
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:45,120
transaction all day every day
2095
01:08:43,279 --> 01:08:48,000
yeah so a foundation of what i call the
2096
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:49,440
money bag method is having two to three
2097
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,359
clients and the reason
2098
01:08:49,440 --> 01:08:52,880
that i put that out there is early on
2099
01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:54,400
whenever i was getting the whole
2100
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:55,920
freelancing thing i got into a position
2101
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:56,960
where i lost one of my top clients at
2102
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:58,640
the time
2103
01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:59,839
and i was just like oh my god i'm
2104
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:02,080
actually gonna have to figure this out
2105
01:08:59,839 --> 01:09:04,239
and the reason that that happened was i
2106
01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:06,080
got lazy i was like oh everything's good
2107
01:09:04,239 --> 01:09:08,080
i can keep coasting like this forever i
2108
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:09,920
was making way more than i was spending
2109
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:11,120
so the reason i recommend for everybody
2110
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:12,719
that's listening to this anybody that's
2111
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:15,440
already inside of freelancer mogul if
2112
01:09:12,719 --> 01:09:17,440
you went through final fight is take on
2113
01:09:15,440 --> 01:09:19,440
two to three clients and you need to
2114
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:21,040
have that you should also constantly the
2115
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:22,960
reason you need to be hiring building
2116
01:09:21,040 --> 01:09:25,120
systems is you should be taking on more
2117
01:09:22,960 --> 01:09:27,279
clients building a system more clients
2118
01:09:25,120 --> 01:09:29,440
building a system but the caveat to that
2119
01:09:27,279 --> 01:09:32,719
is it needs to fit whatever you design
2120
01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:34,799
maybe you don't want 20 30 40 50 clients
2121
01:09:32,719 --> 01:09:36,400
so don't create that but you at least
2122
01:09:34,799 --> 01:09:37,839
need two to three clients because if you
2123
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,759
get to this type of position you
2124
01:09:37,839 --> 01:09:41,920
actually if like
2125
01:09:39,759 --> 01:09:44,799
god forbid you lose one client you still
2126
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:46,960
have another two uh three etc so you
2127
01:09:44,799 --> 01:09:48,880
need to build up your client base to a
2128
01:09:46,960 --> 01:09:50,880
solid foundation before you start doing
2129
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,880
things like this and like for me i i
2130
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:54,560
played the long game uh whenever i first
2131
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:56,640
got started i got really good at what i
2132
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:58,080
was doing for this one client figured it
2133
01:09:56,640 --> 01:10:00,320
out and then i applied it to the next
2134
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,520
client so i'm not telling you to just go
2135
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:02,960
out the gate trying to close as many
2136
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:04,400
clients as you can if you're just
2137
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:06,480
getting started you need to put effort
2138
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:08,000
into that one client get good at what
2139
01:10:06,480 --> 01:10:09,920
you're doing so you're not good in
2140
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:12,080
theory you're good in reality
2141
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:13,040
once you have that system hire somebody
2142
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:14,800
and then
2143
01:10:13,040 --> 01:10:16,480
you can move on to the second client and
2144
01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:18,239
the third client and before you know it
2145
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:20,320
you've got like that system of the the
2146
01:10:18,239 --> 01:10:21,920
network that we're talking about of
2147
01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:24,320
you've got a manager maybe you've got a
2148
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:26,159
ig graphic designer you've got an email
2149
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:28,400
copywriter you've got a sales page right
2150
01:10:26,159 --> 01:10:30,640
a copywriter and then before you know it
2151
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:32,080
you're becoming super valuable to that
2152
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:34,800
client because they depend on you and
2153
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:36,960
this is part of my strategy is i almost
2154
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:39,199
become everything to a certain regard
2155
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:41,920
for my client so like i s my foot in the
2156
01:10:39,199 --> 01:10:43,920
doors email copy but then i can also
2157
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:45,840
offer maybe twitter ghostwriting or i
2158
01:10:43,920 --> 01:10:47,760
can help with the instagram page but i
2159
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:49,199
myself am not doing that because that's
2160
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:51,679
not my thing i've got people that are
2161
01:10:49,199 --> 01:10:53,199
way better like i can design a graphic
2162
01:10:51,679 --> 01:10:55,840
that basically looks like a kindergarten
2163
01:10:53,199 --> 01:10:57,040
student versus somebody else on my team
2164
01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:58,159
like my girl she's really good at
2165
01:10:57,040 --> 01:11:00,159
graphic design i've got another guy in
2166
01:10:58,159 --> 01:11:01,360
brazil that does graphic design kill it
2167
01:11:00,159 --> 01:11:03,760
they could do photoshop they could do
2168
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:05,920
all that so i paid those people
2169
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:08,159
give them income they take care of that
2170
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:10,800
they changed their life and that was a
2171
01:11:08,159 --> 01:11:12,880
huge part a huge i guess upgrade for me
2172
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:14,480
as a freelancer is realizing that one i
2173
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:17,040
need to have that foundation so i
2174
01:11:14,480 --> 01:11:19,280
reflect i was so pissed off at that time
2175
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:22,000
it was like i refused to ever be that
2176
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:23,120
reliant on one person ever again uh so
2177
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:24,080
for all of you that are listening to
2178
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,600
this you need to build up your
2179
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:28,960
foundation of two to three clients but
2180
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:30,960
then also quickly transition into hiring
2181
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:33,520
somebody like even for the most basic
2182
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:35,520
meaningful job because by you freeing up
2183
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:37,360
that time now you can focus on one
2184
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:39,360
enjoying your life or two
2185
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:41,440
doing the things actually matter aka
2186
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:43,440
taking on new clients fulfilling it and
2187
01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:44,960
growing an actual income to where like
2188
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:46,159
my mom i'm not going to say she's rich
2189
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:48,159
because she's not but she doesn't have
2190
01:11:46,159 --> 01:11:50,239
to worry about money ever again my girl
2191
01:11:48,159 --> 01:11:52,320
quit her job like back in i don't know
2192
01:11:50,239 --> 01:11:54,560
2020 whenever we moved to brazil i've
2193
01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:57,280
got six full-time people my girl is one
2194
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,800
of those six uh that literally they pay
2195
01:11:57,280 --> 01:12:00,960
their bills from working with me i've
2196
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:02,719
got another person she's part-time she
2197
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:04,880
lives in a third whole country so it's
2198
01:12:02,719 --> 01:12:06,560
like the money i pay is like oh my god
2199
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:08,000
it's not a lot but it's part time so you
2200
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:09,199
can change all these people's lives you
2201
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:11,760
can change your family's lives your
2202
01:12:09,199 --> 01:12:13,840
friend's life which leads me to an uh
2203
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:15,120
issue that i ran into that i overcame
2204
01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:17,040
was whenever i first started hiring
2205
01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:18,320
people i started hiring way more people
2206
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:20,159
than i needed
2207
01:12:18,320 --> 01:12:22,480
and i also made a mistake by hiring a
2208
01:12:20,159 --> 01:12:24,800
friend of mine yeah so i was like we'll
2209
01:12:22,480 --> 01:12:27,120
be boys it'll just be it'll be cool we
2210
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:29,679
can live our best life blah blah blah
2211
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:31,600
but as an employer once you transition
2212
01:12:29,679 --> 01:12:33,679
in that state of mind you're not their
2213
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:36,080
friend yeah and that was something i i
2214
01:12:33,679 --> 01:12:37,679
just oh you're a part of the same team
2215
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:40,800
but if you don't have that
2216
01:12:37,679 --> 01:12:42,400
difference of okay you work for me or
2217
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:44,560
i'm paying you
2218
01:12:42,400 --> 01:12:46,719
like can you touch on how can somebody
2219
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:48,239
when they first are getting into making
2220
01:12:46,719 --> 01:12:50,320
some decent money and they can afford to
2221
01:12:48,239 --> 01:12:52,080
hire people should they hire friends
2222
01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:53,679
should they they hire family and if they
2223
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:55,840
don't hire any of those people or if
2224
01:12:53,679 --> 01:12:57,600
they do how can they make that
2225
01:12:55,840 --> 01:13:00,080
transition of
2226
01:12:57,600 --> 01:13:02,000
weak we're cool yeah i i i like you all
2227
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:03,440
that but you work for me like how can
2228
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:05,440
they instead of treating them like a
2229
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:07,760
friend they treat them as an actual
2230
01:13:05,440 --> 01:13:10,880
staff if you're just getting started
2231
01:13:07,760 --> 01:13:13,280
it's much easier and therefore
2232
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:14,880
likely better
2233
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:17,199
for you to hire people that you don't
2234
01:13:14,880 --> 01:13:19,360
have a previous relationship with
2235
01:13:17,199 --> 01:13:21,040
either family or friend okay
2236
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:23,840
because there are already established
2237
01:13:21,040 --> 01:13:26,000
boundaries in that relationship
2238
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:27,280
so if you hire that person what you're
2239
01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:29,920
really doing
2240
01:13:27,280 --> 01:13:31,760
is asking for the boundaries to change
2241
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:34,159
they have to do what you say when you
2242
01:13:31,760 --> 01:13:36,000
say within those parameters within work
2243
01:13:34,159 --> 01:13:38,880
hours right
2244
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:40,480
that's not how a friendship or family
2245
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:42,719
works
2246
01:13:40,480 --> 01:13:44,880
so unless you have an understanding that
2247
01:13:42,719 --> 01:13:47,199
those boundaries are going to change
2248
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:48,320
and you have somebody that's willing to
2249
01:13:47,199 --> 01:13:50,880
allow those
2250
01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:52,800
boundaries to change in exchange for you
2251
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:54,640
paying them money which you didn't do
2252
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:57,520
before so the the transaction has
2253
01:13:54,640 --> 01:14:00,159
changed as well as the relationship if
2254
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:03,280
they're not willing to accept that it's
2255
01:14:00,159 --> 01:14:05,679
going to be a disaster
2256
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:07,360
um if that if that transaction is not
2257
01:14:05,679 --> 01:14:08,640
clear that's what that that's what you
2258
01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,920
expect
2259
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:11,520
and that's what you will hold them
2260
01:14:09,920 --> 01:14:15,040
accountable to
2261
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:17,679
that also doesn't work out well at all
2262
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:20,080
right so it's multi-layered so if you're
2263
01:14:17,679 --> 01:14:22,719
going to hire friend or family you have
2264
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:27,120
to make sure that the expectations are
2265
01:14:22,719 --> 01:14:29,679
uh stated intentionally up front right
2266
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:32,560
and you have to
2267
01:14:29,679 --> 01:14:33,679
not only find somebody who's willing to
2268
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,520
do that
2269
01:14:33,679 --> 01:14:36,640
but you have to hold them accountable to
2270
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:38,000
doing that
2271
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:39,760
because sometimes you'll get a little
2272
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:41,199
bit of a slide where at first it starts
2273
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:42,800
out great and they listen to you but
2274
01:14:41,199 --> 01:14:44,640
then one day they decide not to because
2275
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:46,080
they come in with an attitude
2276
01:14:44,640 --> 01:14:48,640
or they think that they know how to do
2277
01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:51,040
it better or whatever or you know
2278
01:14:48,640 --> 01:14:53,679
whatever reason doesn't matter
2279
01:14:51,040 --> 01:14:54,719
um and then they stop listening to you
2280
01:14:53,679 --> 01:14:56,480
as much
2281
01:14:54,719 --> 01:14:57,679
and progressively that happens more and
2282
01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:58,960
more until you're in a point where
2283
01:14:57,679 --> 01:15:01,280
they're not listening to you you're not
2284
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:03,760
getting the value that you're paying for
2285
01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:05,760
and now you've risked ruining the
2286
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:08,080
relationship with that friend or family
2287
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:12,480
by hiring that person right blurring
2288
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:14,280
those boundaries and having there
2289
01:15:12,480 --> 01:15:16,800
be a
2290
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:18,640
incongruency of expectations from the
2291
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:20,800
two of you right
2292
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:22,800
now it is possible to hire friends and
2293
01:15:20,800 --> 01:15:25,199
family and make it work but those
2294
01:15:22,800 --> 01:15:26,560
parameters have to be adhered to
2295
01:15:25,199 --> 01:15:28,480
right they have to know your
2296
01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:29,840
expectations they have to accept your
2297
01:15:28,480 --> 01:15:31,840
expectations and they have to
2298
01:15:29,840 --> 01:15:33,280
consistently deliver on your
2299
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:35,679
expectations
2300
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:37,360
and as a result you need to pay them
2301
01:15:35,679 --> 01:15:39,280
just like you would an employee don't
2302
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:41,040
expect the friends and family discount
2303
01:15:39,280 --> 01:15:42,960
as an employee
2304
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:44,560
if you're expecting them to perform like
2305
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:46,320
an employee you treat them like an
2306
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:48,400
employee you pay them like an employee
2307
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:49,920
you give them increases and bonuses like
2308
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:51,520
an employee not just because they're
2309
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:52,960
friends or family right
2310
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:55,520
etc
2311
01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:57,040
those boundaries are clear as far
2312
01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,640
because now you have two relationships
2313
01:15:57,040 --> 01:16:00,400
with that one person instead of where
2314
01:15:58,640 --> 01:16:03,679
before you were just a friend now you're
2315
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:06,800
a friend and an employer
2316
01:16:03,679 --> 01:16:08,560
and those are separate they kind of blur
2317
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:10,080
but they're still separate
2318
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:12,640
if parameters aren't met you're no
2319
01:16:10,080 --> 01:16:14,159
longer an employee no
2320
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:18,239
right
2321
01:16:14,159 --> 01:16:21,840
and having those parameters set
2322
01:16:18,239 --> 01:16:21,840
and in view for both people
2323
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:27,360
keeping the expectations clear
2324
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:29,360
helps you to be able to keep
2325
01:16:27,360 --> 01:16:31,760
the friendship
2326
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:32,480
if the other relationship doesn't work
2327
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:36,239
out
2328
01:16:32,480 --> 01:16:37,760
the employer employee relationship right
2329
01:16:36,239 --> 01:16:39,120
um
2330
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:41,600
but otherwise you just get all sorts of
2331
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:43,600
static all sorts of trouble so yeah so
2332
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:46,320
one of my first students i ended up
2333
01:16:43,600 --> 01:16:48,960
hiring him uh and he's worked for me for
2334
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:50,719
years like since uh the beginning of
2335
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:53,040
2020 that was the first one of the first
2336
01:16:50,719 --> 01:16:55,520
people i hired after my girl and
2337
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:56,800
to make long story short we never i
2338
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:58,239
wouldn't say we had a falling out but we
2339
01:16:56,800 --> 01:17:00,080
were we're still
2340
01:16:58,239 --> 01:17:01,679
like friends like he's actually a good
2341
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:04,000
friend of mine uh he's also still
2342
01:17:01,679 --> 01:17:06,239
somewhat like i mentor him to a degree
2343
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:08,880
he's killing it he's doing like 20 30k a
2344
01:17:06,239 --> 01:17:10,800
month he kills it uh but i had to put a
2345
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:12,000
polls on the service he was doing for me
2346
01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:13,679
because
2347
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:15,120
the expectation i didn't really set it
2348
01:17:13,679 --> 01:17:16,960
there was just like i wanted to help him
2349
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:18,400
out and that was how he got started
2350
01:17:16,960 --> 01:17:19,920
because i had more than enough money i
2351
01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:21,600
needed help he's really good at what he
2352
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:23,120
does i was just oh yeah i'm gonna send
2353
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:25,040
him some money i had to put a polls on
2354
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:26,960
the service and now i think i'm gonna
2355
01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:29,280
unpause it but the reason i had to pulse
2356
01:17:26,960 --> 01:17:31,040
it would be i was still paying him for
2357
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:32,640
everything he was doing but
2358
01:17:31,040 --> 01:17:34,080
a week would go by it doesn't really do
2359
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:35,360
anything
2360
01:17:34,080 --> 01:17:38,320
two weeks go by it doesn't really do
2361
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:40,239
anything then he does a ton of stuff so
2362
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:42,239
you nailed why that happened
2363
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:44,560
yeah those like expectations were never
2364
01:17:42,239 --> 01:17:48,480
set never you're so oh yeah let me help
2365
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:51,040
you out bro so you can't expect somebody
2366
01:17:48,480 --> 01:17:53,199
to meet and exceed your expectations if
2367
01:17:51,040 --> 01:17:54,400
they don't know what they are yeah
2368
01:17:53,199 --> 01:17:56,640
that's one of the biggest problems
2369
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:58,320
between men and women communicating
2370
01:17:56,640 --> 01:17:59,760
is men will have expectations that they
2371
01:17:58,320 --> 01:18:01,840
think are written in stone but to a
2372
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:03,440
woman they're not and vice versa the
2373
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,960
woman will have expectations that she
2374
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:07,120
thinks are written in stone but the man
2375
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:08,560
has no idea that those are expectations
2376
01:18:07,120 --> 01:18:09,760
or that they ever were or that anyone
2377
01:18:08,560 --> 01:18:11,040
even thinks they're written in stone
2378
01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:13,440
because he's never [ __ ] hurt people
2379
01:18:11,040 --> 01:18:15,199
just assume that they know yeah
2380
01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:17,520
so when you can put those expectations
2381
01:18:15,199 --> 01:18:19,440
up front it gives clarity
2382
01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:22,480
and then it then you know that both
2383
01:18:19,440 --> 01:18:24,640
parties are in an intentional voluntary
2384
01:18:22,480 --> 01:18:25,679
relationship right
2385
01:18:24,640 --> 01:18:27,600
right
2386
01:18:25,679 --> 01:18:28,800
and it solves the problem and now like
2387
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:30,159
you said you're going to start back up
2388
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:32,080
working with this guy i bet you the
2389
01:18:30,159 --> 01:18:34,239
expectations are clear this time right
2390
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:36,239
oh yeah literally what i told him
2391
01:18:34,239 --> 01:18:37,920
because in my mind he just understood
2392
01:18:36,239 --> 01:18:40,000
his job because that's
2393
01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:41,360
i have the tendency just to like assume
2394
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:43,040
in my mind i'll say okay i need this
2395
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:45,679
done this stuff this done
2396
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:47,120
but since becoming more of an employer
2397
01:18:45,679 --> 01:18:49,040
now i actually sit there because i've
2398
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:50,960
realized almost every single time they
2399
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:52,400
mess up it's because of me maybe i
2400
01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:54,400
didn't make something enough more or
2401
01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:57,679
clear enough maybe i didn't set the
2402
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:59,199
framework etc so now i'm like okay from
2403
01:18:57,679 --> 01:19:00,800
this time to this time you're gonna be
2404
01:18:59,199 --> 01:19:02,320
working because i don't want you working
2405
01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:04,239
all day every day it's i don't care
2406
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:06,800
about that i just want stuff done and
2407
01:19:04,239 --> 01:19:08,159
you're gonna be doing this this and this
2408
01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:10,320
that's it that's all you have to do
2409
01:19:08,159 --> 01:19:12,080
every single day and i've done that to
2410
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:13,199
my entire organizational structure if
2411
01:19:12,080 --> 01:19:14,480
you want to use a proper word as
2412
01:19:13,199 --> 01:19:15,840
everybody knows exactly what they need
2413
01:19:14,480 --> 01:19:17,360
to do
2414
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:19,440
and a lot of the time this is another
2415
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:21,199
issue that i do overcome is people see
2416
01:19:19,440 --> 01:19:23,120
especially if they work near me or if
2417
01:19:21,199 --> 01:19:24,640
we're texting all day they see how hard
2418
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:26,480
i work so they think they have to do
2419
01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:28,400
what i do and i'm like no i don't want
2420
01:19:26,480 --> 01:19:29,679
that i just want these tasks done that
2421
01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:31,360
that is it
2422
01:19:29,679 --> 01:19:33,120
so how can somebody
2423
01:19:31,360 --> 01:19:35,600
maybe let's say they work in the same
2424
01:19:33,120 --> 01:19:37,120
area like most of my people are remote
2425
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:38,800
but as i'm not going to name drop the
2426
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:40,080
city but i'm flying a person out and
2427
01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:42,080
find another person out so i want to
2428
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:43,920
create like an actual atmosphere where
2429
01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:46,400
we can all work from the the living room
2430
01:19:43,920 --> 01:19:49,199
or something but how can somebody
2431
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:51,040
that works hard how can they show their
2432
01:19:49,199 --> 01:19:53,360
employees like inspire them obviously
2433
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:56,320
that okay see how hard i'm working but
2434
01:19:53,360 --> 01:19:57,679
how can they compartmentalize like well
2435
01:19:56,320 --> 01:20:00,000
actually now this
2436
01:19:57,679 --> 01:20:02,000
led me to another tangent how can they
2437
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:03,360
not expect their employees to work as
2438
01:20:02,000 --> 01:20:05,280
hard as they work because that was
2439
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:07,040
actually something that pissed me off
2440
01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:08,639
for a while so i was like why don't they
2441
01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:10,480
care as much as i care then i realize
2442
01:20:08,639 --> 01:20:12,000
why would they care it's my business why
2443
01:20:10,480 --> 01:20:14,159
would they care as much so how can
2444
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:16,880
somebody like compartmentalize that like
2445
01:20:14,159 --> 01:20:18,159
they will not care as much as i care
2446
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:19,120
this is bigger than just business but
2447
01:20:18,159 --> 01:20:20,800
we'll keep it for business and
2448
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:22,159
freelancing they don't need to care as
2449
01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:23,679
much as i care they're not going to
2450
01:20:22,159 --> 01:20:26,480
because i get more i get more of the
2451
01:20:23,679 --> 01:20:28,800
benefit my job as an employer is to give
2452
01:20:26,480 --> 01:20:30,960
them a good environment get opportunity
2453
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:32,960
that they can grow with pay them et
2454
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,639
cetera incentivize them so how can they
2455
01:20:32,960 --> 01:20:36,800
kind of compartmentalize that oh they
2456
01:20:34,639 --> 01:20:38,590
don't care as much as i care nobody that
2457
01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:41,199
you hire for your dream
2458
01:20:38,590 --> 01:20:42,159
[Music]
2459
01:20:41,199 --> 01:20:45,120
is
2460
01:20:42,159 --> 01:20:47,760
as emotionally involved in your dream as
2461
01:20:45,120 --> 01:20:49,360
you are it's your dream right you're the
2462
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:51,199
one who made it up you're the one that
2463
01:20:49,360 --> 01:20:52,560
emotionally invested into making it
2464
01:20:51,199 --> 01:20:54,880
happen
2465
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:57,199
they'll be emotionally invested as an
2466
01:20:54,880 --> 01:21:00,320
employee or as working with you but they
2467
01:20:57,199 --> 01:21:03,040
will not be as invested in your dream as
2468
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:05,840
you because your dream is yours alone
2469
01:21:03,040 --> 01:21:07,920
they have their own dream
2470
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:08,960
right so you have to realize
2471
01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:10,960
that they're going to be just as
2472
01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:13,760
passionate as you are about your dream
2473
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:16,239
as they are about their dream but not
2474
01:21:13,760 --> 01:21:17,199
as passionate about you are as your
2475
01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,320
dream
2476
01:21:17,199 --> 01:21:20,000
they're not going to be as passionate
2477
01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:22,880
about your dream just like you're not as
2478
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:23,760
passionate about their dream right
2479
01:21:22,880 --> 01:21:25,120
right
2480
01:21:23,760 --> 01:21:26,960
so it's finding that balance and
2481
01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:29,280
understanding that and accepting that
2482
01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:31,280
that they that there are parameters yeah
2483
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:33,520
right there are expectations that you
2484
01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:35,040
have of them they don't need to go above
2485
01:21:33,520 --> 01:21:36,880
and beyond that
2486
01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:39,199
because it's not theirs to go above and
2487
01:21:36,880 --> 01:21:41,199
beyond for it's yours right
2488
01:21:39,199 --> 01:21:43,760
right if you need more than what they
2489
01:21:41,199 --> 01:21:45,520
can provide pay them to provide more
2490
01:21:43,760 --> 01:21:48,159
or find somebody else that can provide
2491
01:21:45,520 --> 01:21:49,520
the holes that they don't have
2492
01:21:48,159 --> 01:21:51,440
it's that simple
2493
01:21:49,520 --> 01:21:52,880
so what about for the person that this
2494
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:55,360
could be one of the last topics or
2495
01:21:52,880 --> 01:21:56,880
something uh what how can somebody that
2496
01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:58,880
maybe they're more they take things too
2497
01:21:56,880 --> 01:22:00,960
personal they've matured enough they
2498
01:21:58,880 --> 01:22:02,080
tend to be more on the emotional side
2499
01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:03,679
how can they
2500
01:22:02,080 --> 01:22:05,280
because it's not a bad thing what you
2501
01:22:03,679 --> 01:22:07,679
just said about like this is what i
2502
01:22:05,280 --> 01:22:09,040
expect if this isn't uh like fulfilled
2503
01:22:07,679 --> 01:22:11,199
well then you're going i'll just find
2504
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:12,960
somebody else how can they
2505
01:22:11,199 --> 01:22:15,360
how can somebody's more emotional and
2506
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:16,800
takes things personally how can they
2507
01:22:15,360 --> 01:22:18,080
adopt more of that mindset because you
2508
01:22:16,800 --> 01:22:19,840
have to if you want to have an actual
2509
01:22:18,080 --> 01:22:21,600
business you have to become that realize
2510
01:22:19,840 --> 01:22:23,120
that when you do things in the way we've
2511
01:22:21,600 --> 01:22:25,840
discussed
2512
01:22:23,120 --> 01:22:28,400
because everything is intentional
2513
01:22:25,840 --> 01:22:29,920
expectations are out on the table
2514
01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:32,159
everything in that transaction is
2515
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:34,080
voluntary right
2516
01:22:32,159 --> 01:22:36,320
so it's not on you
2517
01:22:34,080 --> 01:22:38,239
if they decide not to perform and so you
2518
01:22:36,320 --> 01:22:40,239
have to let them go that was their
2519
01:22:38,239 --> 01:22:41,600
decision they entered they knew what
2520
01:22:40,239 --> 01:22:43,280
expectations were they knew what
2521
01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:45,600
boundaries were they knew all of this
2522
01:22:43,280 --> 01:22:48,400
stuff coming into it and they chose of
2523
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:51,040
their own free will to do so
2524
01:22:48,400 --> 01:22:53,280
okay so if they choose to then violate
2525
01:22:51,040 --> 01:22:55,280
those expectations and those parameters
2526
01:22:53,280 --> 01:22:56,719
that's not on you it might be to a
2527
01:22:55,280 --> 01:22:58,480
certain extent because you have to
2528
01:22:56,719 --> 01:23:00,560
explain like okay here's your day to day
2529
01:22:58,480 --> 01:23:02,639
here's what you need to do in order to
2530
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:04,800
facilitate those parameters and those
2531
01:23:02,639 --> 01:23:06,159
expectations you can't just expect them
2532
01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:07,600
to know how to do it but once you've
2533
01:23:06,159 --> 01:23:08,960
shown them to know how to do it and
2534
01:23:07,600 --> 01:23:10,320
you've clarified that they know how to
2535
01:23:08,960 --> 01:23:11,679
do it and you've seen them do it in
2536
01:23:10,320 --> 01:23:13,679
practice so you know that they know how
2537
01:23:11,679 --> 01:23:16,320
to do it yeah
2538
01:23:13,679 --> 01:23:18,480
if they decide to stop doing it
2539
01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:20,719
they've decided to violate your
2540
01:23:18,480 --> 01:23:22,639
voluntary contract
2541
01:23:20,719 --> 01:23:24,480
right because you have a verbal
2542
01:23:22,639 --> 01:23:26,880
non-written sometimes even written
2543
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:28,480
contract right of what the expectations
2544
01:23:26,880 --> 01:23:30,239
are
2545
01:23:28,480 --> 01:23:31,840
and once you've verified that you've
2546
01:23:30,239 --> 01:23:33,440
taught them
2547
01:23:31,840 --> 01:23:35,520
so that they know
2548
01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:38,000
and you know that they they know what
2549
01:23:35,520 --> 01:23:40,560
they're doing and that they can do
2550
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:42,400
what you've hired them to do
2551
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:45,440
now that you've established that if they
2552
01:23:42,400 --> 01:23:47,040
deviate from that and decide not to
2553
01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:48,560
you can choose to sever that
2554
01:23:47,040 --> 01:23:51,120
relationship and say i'm going to hire
2555
01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:53,120
somebody else or you can
2556
01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:55,280
before you get to that level
2557
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:57,440
have that conversation with them this is
2558
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:59,840
why corporations do like performance
2559
01:23:57,440 --> 01:24:02,239
reports and [ __ ] right it's just way so
2560
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:05,120
it's like way too tight collared tight
2561
01:24:02,239 --> 01:24:07,120
tied style of like it's like this big
2562
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:08,960
thing and people are terrified of it but
2563
01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:11,440
it doesn't have to be that way it can be
2564
01:24:08,960 --> 01:24:14,159
a generic or genuine conversation not
2565
01:24:11,440 --> 01:24:16,080
generic a genuine conversation that you
2566
01:24:14,159 --> 01:24:18,480
have with them of like listen remember
2567
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:20,239
when we hired you and we trained you and
2568
01:24:18,480 --> 01:24:21,679
i said this is what i expected of you
2569
01:24:20,239 --> 01:24:23,679
and this was how to do it you know how
2570
01:24:21,679 --> 01:24:24,960
to do it you've done it very well well
2571
01:24:23,679 --> 01:24:26,719
lately i've noticed that you're not
2572
01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:28,239
doing it as well
2573
01:24:26,719 --> 01:24:31,840
or you're not doing it in the way that
2574
01:24:28,239 --> 01:24:31,840
we spoke about right why
2575
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:36,719
then shut the [ __ ] up
2576
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:39,199
listen get that feedback
2577
01:24:36,719 --> 01:24:41,040
it might be excuses but any excuse is
2578
01:24:39,199 --> 01:24:42,639
valid it's just not valid to you because
2579
01:24:41,040 --> 01:24:44,320
that's what they've put in their head as
2580
01:24:42,639 --> 01:24:46,159
the reason for that thing so now you
2581
01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:48,480
might have to dig past that initial
2582
01:24:46,159 --> 01:24:50,560
reason or excuse to figure out what it
2583
01:24:48,480 --> 01:24:53,520
really was
2584
01:24:50,560 --> 01:24:55,520
but listen and disassociate your anger
2585
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:58,159
and your emotions from their response
2586
01:24:55,520 --> 01:25:01,520
try to actually get down to a response
2587
01:24:58,159 --> 01:25:03,760
and dig deep enough without being like
2588
01:25:01,520 --> 01:25:05,040
overbearing yeah
2589
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:06,480
right but if they're willing to have
2590
01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:08,639
this conversation and they're ready to
2591
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:11,600
voluntarily have this conversation with
2592
01:25:08,639 --> 01:25:13,520
you try to dig at why it is that they
2593
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:16,320
decided to violate
2594
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:17,600
what you guys think you have agreed upon
2595
01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:19,280
right and they might think that they're
2596
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:21,440
still performing
2597
01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:23,360
at the same level yeah and you say well
2598
01:25:21,440 --> 01:25:25,040
these are the metrics i'm using what
2599
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:26,880
metrics are you using
2600
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:29,520
to show that you are you know still
2601
01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:29,520
within this
2602
01:25:29,920 --> 01:25:34,480
and just
2603
01:25:31,199 --> 01:25:35,600
be [ __ ] real with each other yes like
2604
01:25:34,480 --> 01:25:37,520
show
2605
01:25:35,600 --> 01:25:39,280
not just expectations not just
2606
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:41,760
parameters show what you're using to
2607
01:25:39,280 --> 01:25:43,679
measure objectively and see what they're
2608
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:45,280
using to measure objectives
2609
01:25:43,679 --> 01:25:47,520
because you might be wrong but they
2610
01:25:45,280 --> 01:25:49,440
might be wrong or both of you might be
2611
01:25:47,520 --> 01:25:51,840
right in areas that the other
2612
01:25:49,440 --> 01:25:53,440
was completely blind to right and
2613
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:55,040
they're providing more value in this
2614
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:56,560
intangible area that you weren't even
2615
01:25:55,040 --> 01:25:58,159
looking at you're like holy [ __ ] that's
2616
01:25:56,560 --> 01:25:59,760
actually like
2617
01:25:58,159 --> 01:26:01,360
just as equal value it's just they were
2618
01:25:59,760 --> 01:26:02,960
putting it in an area that i wasn't
2619
01:26:01,360 --> 01:26:04,080
looking at
2620
01:26:02,960 --> 01:26:06,719
and when you have that adult
2621
01:26:04,080 --> 01:26:08,639
conversation and you see and you listen
2622
01:26:06,719 --> 01:26:10,480
and you speak and everything is on the
2623
01:26:08,639 --> 01:26:11,920
table you can figure out the problem
2624
01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:13,760
because now you've figured out all the
2625
01:26:11,920 --> 01:26:16,320
variables you see all the missing puzzle
2626
01:26:13,760 --> 01:26:18,560
pieces you can put the puzzle together
2627
01:26:16,320 --> 01:26:19,840
and sometimes that puzzle being put
2628
01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:20,840
together
2629
01:26:19,840 --> 01:26:23,280
is the
2630
01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:25,760
separation of that relationship as far
2631
01:26:23,280 --> 01:26:28,239
as the work relationship goes but so
2632
01:26:25,760 --> 01:26:30,560
long as you are intentional and upfront
2633
01:26:28,239 --> 01:26:32,320
and honest with each other and cool with
2634
01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:33,920
each other and not freaking out each
2635
01:26:32,320 --> 01:26:34,800
other and emotionally reacting to each
2636
01:26:33,920 --> 01:26:37,120
other
2637
01:26:34,800 --> 01:26:38,880
yeah then you can keep the friendship
2638
01:26:37,120 --> 01:26:41,040
yeah right
2639
01:26:38,880 --> 01:26:42,080
just because the work relationship no
2640
01:26:41,040 --> 01:26:44,400
longer exists doesn't mean the
2641
01:26:42,080 --> 01:26:47,760
friendship has to end
2642
01:26:44,400 --> 01:26:49,520
but that scenario only happens
2643
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:52,400
when you're intentional and upfront and
2644
01:26:49,520 --> 01:26:54,480
honest and cool with each other
2645
01:26:52,400 --> 01:26:57,040
so you start there right and you build
2646
01:26:54,480 --> 01:26:59,040
things up from that base so that if you
2647
01:26:57,040 --> 01:27:00,560
ever get to that point you can separate
2648
01:26:59,040 --> 01:27:02,400
from them
2649
01:27:00,560 --> 01:27:03,520
keep them as friends and now understand
2650
01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:05,199
some people aren't going to want to keep
2651
01:27:03,520 --> 01:27:07,520
you as friends but that's
2652
01:27:05,199 --> 01:27:09,760
just how life is going to be we all lose
2653
01:27:07,520 --> 01:27:11,360
friends at some point in our life
2654
01:27:09,760 --> 01:27:12,719
right if they choose to walk away let
2655
01:27:11,360 --> 01:27:14,239
them they might come back in the future
2656
01:27:12,719 --> 01:27:16,719
you don't know
2657
01:27:14,239 --> 01:27:19,280
still treat them just as well
2658
01:27:16,719 --> 01:27:22,239
right but realize that the voluntary
2659
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:24,719
contract that two adults are in
2660
01:27:22,239 --> 01:27:26,719
is no longer voluntary right on one side
2661
01:27:24,719 --> 01:27:28,159
therefore it's no longer a contract so
2662
01:27:26,719 --> 01:27:31,679
you separate
2663
01:27:28,159 --> 01:27:33,360
right it's not an emotional thing
2664
01:27:31,679 --> 01:27:35,679
right it's not
2665
01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:37,199
uh a subjective thing at this point
2666
01:27:35,679 --> 01:27:39,520
because you both looked at it you've
2667
01:27:37,199 --> 01:27:41,440
both analyzed it you've talked about it
2668
01:27:39,520 --> 01:27:43,679
you've established why you feel that
2669
01:27:41,440 --> 01:27:45,920
it's not working
2670
01:27:43,679 --> 01:27:47,199
and if you can't come to an agreement
2671
01:27:45,920 --> 01:27:49,040
where you continue with that
2672
01:27:47,199 --> 01:27:50,400
relationship then the relationship ends
2673
01:27:49,040 --> 01:27:52,960
and you find someone that can't
2674
01:27:50,400 --> 01:27:55,360
facilitate that but also remember
2675
01:27:52,960 --> 01:27:58,800
that what your expectations are and what
2676
01:27:55,360 --> 01:28:00,480
they can perform for you
2677
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:02,719
might be different things
2678
01:28:00,480 --> 01:28:04,239
and what you're expecting might be too
2679
01:28:02,719 --> 01:28:05,760
much
2680
01:28:04,239 --> 01:28:08,000
what they're delivering might be the
2681
01:28:05,760 --> 01:28:09,199
absolute max of what that position can
2682
01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,080
do
2683
01:28:09,199 --> 01:28:12,159
so
2684
01:28:10,080 --> 01:28:13,840
don't get rid of that person recklessly
2685
01:28:12,159 --> 01:28:15,040
thinking you can easily replace them
2686
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:16,080
because there's going to be the learning
2687
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:18,159
curve
2688
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:19,120
called me on that before yes
2689
01:28:18,159 --> 01:28:20,960
um
2690
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:22,639
of how long it takes them to be able to
2691
01:28:20,960 --> 01:28:24,320
perform the next person to perform at
2692
01:28:22,639 --> 01:28:25,840
that last person's level so they might
2693
01:28:24,320 --> 01:28:28,080
be more valuable than you think that
2694
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:30,080
they are and it might just be your
2695
01:28:28,080 --> 01:28:32,800
expectations have grown
2696
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:36,000
that's why you objectively look at this
2697
01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:38,560
stuff up front and write it down
2698
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:40,719
these expectations
2699
01:28:38,560 --> 01:28:42,560
so that you can look back on it later
2700
01:28:40,719 --> 01:28:44,400
when the expectations are violated and
2701
01:28:42,560 --> 01:28:47,040
you can see objectively are these
2702
01:28:44,400 --> 01:28:50,159
expectations violated
2703
01:28:47,040 --> 01:28:51,679
because my expectations grew
2704
01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:53,760
or are they violated because that
2705
01:28:51,679 --> 01:28:55,679
person's not performing
2706
01:28:53,760 --> 01:28:58,639
if your expectations grew
2707
01:28:55,679 --> 01:29:00,320
so should their salary right
2708
01:28:58,639 --> 01:29:03,199
because you're asking them of more so
2709
01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:05,180
now you renegotiate the terms
2710
01:29:03,199 --> 01:29:06,400
very simple right um
2711
01:29:05,180 --> 01:29:08,239
[Music]
2712
01:29:06,400 --> 01:29:10,400
or if your expectations have grown but
2713
01:29:08,239 --> 01:29:11,600
you can't justify the value well good
2714
01:29:10,400 --> 01:29:14,400
[ __ ] luck you're probably going to
2715
01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:16,159
have to make up for that employee's lack
2716
01:29:14,400 --> 01:29:19,840
that's just how it is
2717
01:29:16,159 --> 01:29:21,600
until you can find a way to justify
2718
01:29:19,840 --> 01:29:23,840
spending
2719
01:29:21,600 --> 01:29:26,159
money to get somebody else to take care
2720
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:27,520
of those expectations
2721
01:29:26,159 --> 01:29:29,360
and if you can't guess what that's your
2722
01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:30,800
job yeah that's the life of an
2723
01:29:29,360 --> 01:29:32,000
entrepreneur you have to take ownership
2724
01:29:30,800 --> 01:29:33,679
of that no
2725
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:36,080
yeah take extreme ownership one of my
2726
01:29:33,679 --> 01:29:37,440
favorite books is by jocko willink navy
2727
01:29:36,080 --> 01:29:40,080
seal commander
2728
01:29:37,440 --> 01:29:42,639
and i think commander probably have the
2729
01:29:40,080 --> 01:29:45,040
title wrong but anyways
2730
01:29:42,639 --> 01:29:46,880
a leader yeah of the navy seals and his
2731
01:29:45,040 --> 01:29:50,080
book is extreme ownership where you have
2732
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:53,040
to take extreme ownership of everything
2733
01:29:50,080 --> 01:29:55,120
across the board that's why expectations
2734
01:29:53,040 --> 01:29:56,400
are so important intentions are so
2735
01:29:55,120 --> 01:29:58,239
important
2736
01:29:56,400 --> 01:30:00,159
parameters and
2737
01:29:58,239 --> 01:30:02,800
all of that stuff that's why all of this
2738
01:30:00,159 --> 01:30:04,480
clear communication is so vital
2739
01:30:02,800 --> 01:30:06,239
from the beginning
2740
01:30:04,480 --> 01:30:08,000
so that you can understand when it's
2741
01:30:06,239 --> 01:30:10,000
your own emotional reactivity or when
2742
01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:11,840
it's somebody else's own emotional
2743
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:13,280
reactivity and you can objectively look
2744
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,800
at that you can solve that problem
2745
01:30:13,280 --> 01:30:15,840
without the need for reacting to the
2746
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:17,280
reaction
2747
01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:19,520
right
2748
01:30:17,280 --> 01:30:20,719
right um and it's that simple and
2749
01:30:19,520 --> 01:30:23,679
realizing that some people are going to
2750
01:30:20,719 --> 01:30:24,880
react to you no matter what you do
2751
01:30:23,679 --> 01:30:28,080
right
2752
01:30:24,880 --> 01:30:29,920
it is just part of the game um your job
2753
01:30:28,080 --> 01:30:32,840
is to try to
2754
01:30:29,920 --> 01:30:36,880
control as many of those variables that
2755
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:39,520
limit unexpected consequences with other
2756
01:30:36,880 --> 01:30:41,199
people or
2757
01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:43,440
um
2758
01:30:41,199 --> 01:30:45,679
undesirable results right just by
2759
01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:47,600
setting that expectation up front think
2760
01:30:45,679 --> 01:30:48,400
then do think then do
2761
01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:50,080
yeah
2762
01:30:48,400 --> 01:30:52,639
and i think that's
2763
01:30:50,080 --> 01:30:54,639
that's the key really
2764
01:30:52,639 --> 01:30:57,120
so yeah man this was a good talk today
2765
01:30:54,639 --> 01:30:59,120
we'll do another one before you leave
2766
01:30:57,120 --> 01:31:03,400
and uh i think it'll be pretty gangster
2767
01:30:59,120 --> 01:31:03,400
too i hope let's do it awesome